The best shelter in the world

His mother had two names, one spiritual and one earthly. The mundane name was given by parents, Kunjang. It is a Buddhist tradition that the spiritual name is given by the Guru. Accordingly, the name was named - Yesi Dolma.

There are endless sources of suffering in the world. A mother is beyond all that suffering, Ani feels. Therefore, according to Ani Choing, mother is the best reservation to take refuge in the burning world.

Ani has no qualms about the Buddha's teaching that one should take refuge in the truth to dive into the world of spirituality. However, not everyone has walked the path of truth. Therefore, she says, mother is the best shelter to escape from the sufferings of the world. She thinks that when she is in great pain, she accidentally utters the words 'Maren Ni Aama' in her mouth.

One recent morning in the midst of the growing winter, Ani cried out for her mother's tender affection while turning on the hot water. 'My mother had the art of increasing my happiness a thousand times, I think, this kind of art is born in mothers' Ani remembered her mother with a half-hearted look, 'Others' hearts become jealous of your happiness, mother's is satisfied.'

Ani's calm It does not matter to a man of worldly affairs if he suffers whatever he sees with the eyes. The mother becomes even more sad.

'I have only seen tears in my mother's eyes,' says Ani, 'no, my mother suffered even more than average.' Includes scenes of beatings. In the 1960s, many Buddhists fled to Nepal after the Communist regime began in Tibet. Ani's parents were among them. But after the birth of a daughter, the mother's marriage broke up. Then after marrying Chhega, 25 years older than her, Ani and two brothers were born in Buddh in 1972.

She saw her mother's tears and tenderness at the same time, but she never felt both of them in her father. When his master, the 16th Karmapa Ranjung Rigpe Dorje, passed away in the winter of 1981, his father wept profusely - all day, all night.

'I was surprised to see tears in his eyes,' the moment his father's hardness melted, 'sometimes it is fun to see the person who makes him cry.' He is indelible in the memory of his daughter as an angry man.

'There was no modesty in his words, he used to beat my mother and me with anger,' says Ani, 'that's why my mother had a great distaste for men.' She used to give sermons - never let your son fall under people's trust, daughter.

This sermon of his mother was engraved in his heart like a stone letter. Therefore, at the age of ten, before the onset of adolescence, he was given the tune to start a life of change. Till then she was a big fan of Bruce Lee. She had a haircut like Bruce Lee. And like Bruceli, she used to punch the boys of the village.

'Perhaps because of my father's tyranny, I also used to be disgusted with my son,' Ani said, showing self-strength, 'one day I suddenly decided to become ani and told that to my mother.' They do not like to be seen as nuns. However, Yashi immediately supported his proposal. Even her father did not say her opinion of becoming a nun was wrong. Moreover, the father himself began to search for a suitable place to live. Babu's distant cousin Parne recommended – Nagi Gumba established in the heart of Shivpuri. It was the monastery where Urgen Tulku Rinpoche gave Ani the refuge of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. After meeting that Rinpoche, a bubbly girl with shaved head who loved to dance and sing.

'After shaving my hair, I felt a strange feeling like all kinds of sorrows fell to the ground,' she said about the first moment of her life, 'I felt like I had a real life at that time.' That she was going to be alone. The mother was happy that her daughter would stop being beaten.

Guru Tulku Urgen Udhumai was kind under whose tutelage Ani found the light of peaceful life in Nagi Gumba which she could never see in the hot environment of the household.

'After I got there, I never had to wash dishes, wash clothes, cook, take care of my brothers and the most important thing - I never had to eat anyone's food,' he remembers the freedom of his childhood in the monastery, 'I could play as much as I wanted. And I got to ride, I got to spend my days and nights in peace.' More than that, she found there a compassionate Guru who meditated regularly and devoted Sangha-Sakhis who meditated.

Before the day's reading and sports and the night's rest, his guru used to make his disciple meditate regularly in a monastery standing quietly in the middle of the forest, away from the noise of the world. There a young ascetic used to come regularly from Kathmandu sometimes with his friends and sometimes with his young sons to meditate.

Ani used to come home every month to meet her mother. Years passed in this undertaking. She took to expanding herself into a larger sphere of life. The world became enthralled by his voice and the news made his mother even more enthralled.

'I used to run and tell my mother about my achievements and I was happy to see the shine in her eyes,' Ani used to look back to the moments of initial success, 'seeing my mother's happiness made me want to make her more and more successful.' Her father had passed away before her initial success in the life of a nun, well immersed in study and meditation. Ani's fame was rising to the point that it could give a single mother all the happiness in the world. But, two and a half decades ago, a news given by the doctor gave Ani a big shock - your mother got kidney disease.

Until now, free dialysis and transplantation for kidney patients in Nepal was unimaginable. Dialysis twice a week used to cost around 70,000, but it was not easy to get a turn. But with many efforts, Ani managed to arrange dialysis. After it was decided that the transplant was the last treatment, Ani arranged for her mother to be taken to Delhi and get her kidney transplanted, but the mother did not agree.

'At the last moment of the treatment, my mother came to know, she refused to accept my kidney' Ani remembers, 'Again I took my mother to South India for a transplant with the consent of a relative. .'

Ani tried the same once again, but the transplant failed. Finally, in December 2006, the mother changed the chola.

'After my mother passed away, I felt completely empty,' she says, 'My mother's life, who did not know how to read and could not believe that she was even that old, is the story of the life of a common woman at that time whose happiness was imprisoned by the chains of patriarchy.' break In memory of her mother, Ani established 'Arogya Pratishthan' in 2010 where kidney patients can avail dialysis facility. She sang songs in memory of her mother and released an album titled mother. She also did many charities in memory of her mother. And also, Annie feels, her mother's debt is due.

Annie, when she is happy, is disturbed by the memory of her mother. 'When I return home from a trip abroad, my eyes try to see my mother at the door' Ani narrowed her eyes, 'When I am hungry, my heart looks for that mother who feeds me with the love of my mother.' What Ani has realized in her journey of life so far is that compassion is the strongest human power. Because, by the power of compassion, Buddha consciousness is awakened in the common man and he is freed from suffering and engrossed in freeing others from suffering as well. The absence of compassion creates violence and counter-violence in people and life goes into the pit of eternal misery. Again, no creature other than man is capable of compassion.

Ani, who chose the life of a nun after seeing her mother's suffering, will probably never be a mother. Does he miss this opportunity? 'No way' Ani smiled, 'because you don't have to have your own children to show compassion, we all have the opportunity to show compassion.' was "Now I understand that he is a victim of bipolar disorder," Ani opened her eyes in astonishment Now he also realized that his father had developed that hardness due to persecution. And if anything is known, because of that harsh temper of her father, she got to start a life full of internal pleasures.

'Some bad things come in a good cover and some good things come in a bad cover,' Ani took a deep breath, 'I would not have been able to see such a good life if that hardness had not come in him, my father's scolding and last words became my guide, this When I found out, I am very grateful to him.'' Because of this realization, what she advises those who come in contact with her is that it is completely unfair to delay in expressing gratitude.

Ani says that instead of doing many things in memory of parents who have passed away, showing love, giving time and caring for them while they are still alive is a million times more virtuous. He realizes that the same feeling is hidden in the common saying that everything except parents is available in the world and that one should show love to one's life giver without spending some time.

"There is nothing I can't get enough of today," she says, "But, there is no mother who loves me, no father even if she scolds me."