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Lapa KC was sitting on the roof of her house in Rukumkot, the district headquarters of Rukum East. She became emotional for a long time while talking about her husband who was killed 22 years ago. During the conversation, his throat was blocked several times. Lapa's husband Lakshiram KC i.e. 'Comrade Pawan' was martyred during the armed struggle started by the then CPN-Maoist in 2052.
Pawan of former Pwang Gavis-1 Siureni (currently Sisne rural municipality-2, Rukum East) under Rukum district sold all his property and employed his family along with him in party work. He was brutally murdered by the then "Royal Nepalese Army" while he was working in the party at Garayla in Saniveri Rural Municipality, Rukum Paschim.
2059 Lapa considers November 9 as a black day. "It was his nature to love his family and his family when he was told that he was responsible for the party," she said. They killed him shortly after reaching there.' According to
Lapa, at that time, Pawan was in charge of the area made up of Garayla of Sabik along with other four villages in the vicinity. All the party activities in that area used to be under his leadership. The Garayla area, which is not far from the district headquarters, could be surrounded by the army and police at any time. But this is what Pawan took up. 
Pawan's file photo
2059 On November 8th, Pawan left home to participate in the meeting of various people's organizations of the party. After completing all-day meetings in Valchaur under his jurisdiction, he stayed there that day. At that time there was no communication like it is now. But Pawan used to inform about his whereabouts and condition from time to time through the party contact and he did it that time as well.
The next morning Pawan was on his way to the party office from where he was staying and was suddenly surrounded by the army. And he was arrested. The army team from the district headquarters also searched for other Maoists in the vicinity. At the same time, another Maoist worker who was found was shot and killed. After raiding the place where the meeting was held the previous day, the Maoists found and arrested another Maoist worker named Vinod. At that time, many Maoist leaders-activists managed to escape and save their lives.
On the same day, Pawan and Vinod were taken to Peepal Chautara near Suliha in Simli gavis, tied to a tree and shot dead in a gruesome manner. But we searched for him," Lapa said. At that time, we went to the forest and hid with the help of the party. When I inquired about him, I found out that he had become a martyr.''
At that time, she said that it was as if she could have seen his face at least for the last time. After the murder of Pawan, who was working in the party with two sons and one daughter, the family returned to their old village (Tiptara). Life went on as usual. Time passed. Now the 34-year-old eldest son of Luma's two sons, Vinod, is working abroad. The youngest son, 32-year-old Jeevan, is working as a member of the provincial committee of the Maoist Center along with the hotel business in Rukumkot, while the daughter, 27-year-old Samsika, is busy as a housewife. 
Pawan couple
Lapa told the story of her family's struggle to reach this point, even though the minor children of that time had grown up and were engaged in their own work and enjoying with their grandchildren. It happened,' she said, 'but it should not be done after it happened. Even the children did not follow the bad path, they moved forward after understanding the sorrow of the family. When will the absence of a husband be complete? But I am satisfied with the actions of the children.
Pawan, who has been a full-time activist since the early stages of the Maoist movement, is determined to fulfill the responsibilities given to him by the party, says Ganeshman Pun, his comrade-in-arms at the time. "He was ultimately a combative, revolutionary and honest leader," he said. If he had been here now, he would have been working as our leader.
Even when he comes to the house, Lapa says that he usually does not come to stay and Aiha also leaves at the same time as she goes out. When he came home, he used to incite us to join the party and join the movement. He was more worried about the country, the people and the party than the family's happiness and sorrow,' she says remembering the past, 'only after the country was formed, he used to train us that we would become our family, we would become ourselves.'
When his father was killed, when the soldier asked him whether he would die or surrender, Jeevan's son told him that after his father's death, someone in the village told him that he shouted that he would not bow down to anyone. "They tried to save Ba by saying 'he is a teacher' at that time, but the soldiers didn't let him go after party documents were found in his bag," Jeevan added, "But Ba chose death instead of surrender." Pawan 
Life and his family are proud of their father who sacrificed his life for change. Ba's death was an irreparable loss for the family. However, it was for the sake of change. He was in favor of democracy,' said Jeevan, 'that's why we are proud of him.' 'His dream has not yet been fulfilled,' Jeevan said, 'that's why I have joined politics to fulfill Comrade Pawan's dream rather than our father's.' If the system is brought, the life of the new generation will be more painful than it is. The Maoist movement and the people's war were no joke. There was a red ray of change,'' he said, 'that ray has shed light on the world today, it has warmed everyone. But people only look at the near things. They don't care how many have burned their lives to bring this light and warmth.'
