For 15-year-old Suman (name changed) from Kavre, his school teacher Rakesh (name changed) was like a friend. They shared personal things openly. They would exchange stories at school and even talk at each other's homes. Rakesh continued to build a close bond with Suman by sending 'memes' and 'reels' on social media, and their relationship continued for a long time.

One day, Rakesh demanded Suman's nude photos. At first, Suman refused. Then? Rakesh threatened to tell her family about the 'obscene meme' that Suman had 'shared'. After the threat, Suman was forced to send her nude photos to Rakesh. However, Rakesh did not stop there, he also started asking for nude photos of Suman's 11-year-old sister.

When Suman refused, Rakesh's threat became more cruel, 'I have your nude photos, if you do not send your sister's photos, I will make it public.' After that, Suman became mentally very depressed. She could not tell anyone, she even stopped talking to Rakesh and going to school. However, the teacher kept harassing the students by sending messages continuously.

...

During the 2076 Corona pandemic and nationwide lockdown, 16-year-old Sunita (name changed) also spent most of her time on her mobile and the internet. Due to online classes, her attention was on her mobile. Meanwhile, a ‘friend request’ came on Facebook from Shriram Bhandari, who was studying in the same class, and Sunita accepted it. The conversation that started on Facebook escalated to audio and video calls. Gradually, they accepted each other as lovers. This love affair progressed for a year, in 2077 BS, Shriram asked Sunita for a nude photo. Sunita, who was in confidence, sent her a nude photo from the waist up on Messenger.

Within a few days, Shriram showed it to his 19-year-old friend Anish Rimal, saying, ‘A nude photo has arrived, look at it.’ The next day, Anish sent the same photo to Sunita using his ‘fake ID David Ryder’ and started ‘blackmailing’ her. Anish posted Sunita’s nude photo in a group called ‘COVID 19 Boka Group’ as the ‘latest photo’.

As the ‘group members’ sent the photo to each other, Sunita’s photo started spreading on social media. After receiving nasty messages, comments and 'blackmailing' from many IDs, Sunita committed suicide in her room on Asad 20, 2077 to escape this unbearable pain. Before her death, she had written to her friend in a message, 'If anything happens to me, don't leave Shriram, he played a big game with me' and '...if I die, take revenge on him.'

...

On the one hand, the criminal threat to the safety of the student and sister through the teacher's 'grooming', on the other hand, the misuse of private photos taken in the name of love and the suicide that led to it. These two representative incidents show a picture of online child abuse in Nepal. A study prepared in December 2024 in collaboration with ChildSafe Net, an organization active in the field of child rights, and UNICEF Nepal also shows that children are victims of online abuse. The study shows that incidents of 'digital grooming', 'online blackmailing' and 'online intimate partner violence' have increased in recent times. 

Similarly, a study called ‘Romance at Risk’ conducted by ‘ChildSafe Net and Sexual Violence Research Initiative’ also shows that 1 in 4 teenagers are victims of online abuse. Although previous research has shown that women/girls are more victims of child abuse, this research by ChildSafe Net shows that girls, men and boys are victims of online violence. In the study, 27 percent of the teenagers who suffered violence were boys, while the number of girls was 21 percent.

According to Anil Raghuvanshi, the researcher of this study and the president of ChildSafe Net, the incidents of abuse against children have increased recently with the development of technology. According to him, incidents of ‘stalking’, ‘controlling’, and ‘bullying’ on the internet have been increasing in recent days. 

According to Raghuvanshi, recently some groups have been abusing children in an organized manner by keeping groups of 10 to 15 people in a ‘call center’ style. They contact the victim through fake accounts or WhatsApp, ask for nude photos by ‘grooming’ the child and threatening to ‘flash’ them. ‘Such organized groups do this for money, for which they use sexual images or videos as a medium,’ says Raghuvanshi. ‘As soon as they make a video call, they get naked themselves, encourage the victim to get naked or watch pornography, record it, and blackmail them for money.’

According to Raghuvanshi, children who are subjected to such violence cannot even tell their parents. ‘Those with criminal mindsets fulfill their personal interests, and children become mentally deranged,’ says Raghuvanshi. ‘Children do not report anywhere. They do not even tell at home. Let alone go to the police. Many parents do not understand either. Who do they tell their friends, and then they hide inside.’

Child psychiatrist Harsana Shrestha said that when they hide the violence against them, they develop mental problems. Shrestha said, ‘Many children are subjected to online harassment. They are forced to go through mental problems because they are not able to share their feelings openly on time. I have seen many such cases.’

A study conducted by Child Workers in Nepal Cornsund Center and Good Shepherd International Foundation Nepal in July 2020 also shows that children who are victims of online abuse have mental health problems. Shrestha says that children who are subjected to online abuse experience problems such as depression, low self-esteem, and excessive stress. ‘In most cases, mental problems only come after ‘physical symptoms’ appear. By then, it is too late,’ she said.

'Trust issue' between parents and children

In a study by child psychiatrist Shrestha, the situation has become more risky as children have been losing trust in their parents in recent times. Shrestha says, 'There is a trust issue between the child and the parent. If they say something, they will scold them.'

Child psychiatrist Ganga Pathak also said that such incidents are increasing due to the lack of a 'friendly environment' between children and parents. 'This is the digital age. Children spend more time on the internet and phones. During such times, parents do not spend much time with them,' says Pathak, 'which leads to an unhealthy 'parent-child relationship'. In such a situation, children do not even talk to their parents.'

Researcher Raghuvanshi also emphasized on this issue. 'Instead of parents, they scold them by saying, 'Why did you talk to a stranger?', 'Why did you give me a photo?' That's why they prefer to remain silent,' said Raghuvanshi, 'Many parents take away their children's freedom (by taking away their phones) instead of providing security. That makes them more afraid.' 

Parental fear, social fear

Not all children hide from their parents. Some have 'shared' with their parents. And, even if they 'share', those parents do not take 'action'. Pratima Lama, a trainer at 'Smart Parenting Nepal', says that she has been providing training to parents who have been unable to take 'action' due to social fear. According to her, parents are afraid to take 'action' due to social fear, the police not taking the incident seriously, and administrative hassles.

'Although many do not tell, some children tell their parents that they have been subjected to violence. However, families are also afraid to take action openly due to the fear of the social structure,' says Lama. Similarly, child psychologist Harsana Shrestha said that parents are not able to come forward due to the social structure. 'Our social structure is like that. There is a society that blames children. That is why parents are not in a hurry to take action. They only get upset when it has a big impact,' she says.