I am slowly saving money and thinking of doing something in Nepal. It seems like life is made up of suffering and hardship. In life, you get the opportunity to understand suffering by enduring it.
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Nothing can fill the void of a father and mother. Even though I have brothers and sisters, I am now feeling lonely. I am living an orphaned life without my parents.
I grew up in my mother's arms for 12 years. At that time, my mother died of illness. Despite many attempts to save her, she could not. I still feel sad when I remember that. It has been 20 years since I lived in my mother's memory. My father is no more now. It has been 8 years since I lost him.
I have a house in Dharampur Shivasatachchi Municipality-3, Jhapa. I have been working as a painter for the past few years. I have been living in Kathmandu for 9 months looking for work. I am now 32 years old, but I am not married. I think I should get married now, but the responsibility of running the house pushes me away. I have done many jobs. Now that I have got a job as a painter, I am doing that. I have been doing this job since I was 15 years old. I even went to Qatar to earn money in between. Even after spending two years there, I couldn't get the job I wanted. I couldn't earn the money I wanted. I came to Nepal and looked for a job in Kathmandu. Now I work as a painter. I earn 1800 rupees a day while painting. Even if I spend 300 on food, I save 1500 a day. I live and eat at the place where I work. I don't spend much on living alone. I have saved a little for the future. If I could always get a job like this, it would be a joy. But, in this city with recession and drought, why would I always get a job?
You don't have to go hungry in your own country. Even if you don't get anything, you can eat gundruk soup and rice. Even if you get that much, you are happy and satisfied. My father used to have a hotel in Jhapa. While working there, I learned to be a cook and earned money by cooking in the village. I regretted going abroad after paying five lakhs. I struggled to pay off the debt there. Maybe because I had many complaints about life - even when I was very happy, my heart still hurts. It's probably because I complain a lot about life - even when I get a lot of happiness, my heart still hurts.
I had a dream of earning a lot and making my parents happy, and traveling to different places. Which I could not fulfill. Where does life go as I said? What does anyone think in front of God? My dreams also became helpless in front of God. Talking about such things only hurts my heart. After my parents, I have met people who love me like my own blood relatives.
I am slowly saving money and thinking of doing something in Nepal. It seems like life is made of suffering and suffering. In life, you get the opportunity to know suffering by suffering. Who is your own? I was able to distinguish who is a stranger. That's it - I have many skills. I have the confidence that I can eat whatever I do. There is self-satisfaction even when I struggle in my own country rather than in someone else's.
Presentation: Aarti Poudel
Published in the Household Expenses column
