When my body stopped supporting me, I stopped pulling the cart. But, I couldn't afford to sit down and eat. If I didn't work, I would start worrying about what to eat. So, I started collecting and selling kavadi goods.
What you should know
There is no instrument to measure human suffering. One must endure as much as one can. It is not enough to lament that one has suffered. That is why, no matter what happens, I am spending my life working.
I have had a limp since childhood. My legs are weak and I can't jump like others. I have to work as much as I can. I also have a problem with my ears. I can't hear well. That also gets in the way.
My house is in Dhuskun, Tripurasundari Rural Municipality-3. I am now 50 years old. I came to the nearby Bahrabise market after the wages in the village were not good. It has been more than 10 years since I moved.
It's not just about dreaming. I want to help others. But I'm tired of seeing my whole life ending just to eat a single bite. Until the big earthquake 10 years ago, I used to work as a cart driver. I used to earn a few rupees by carrying goods in a cart. I had to use force while driving the cart. While doing that work, I suddenly started fainting. Disaster upon disaster. I started fighting in the middle of the road, trembling. My health deteriorated, and I even lost my wages. Even earning a little bit felt like fighting a big war.
Apart from that, I also get disability allowance. I get 12 thousand in three months at once. I have deposited the allowance amount in my account. From time to time, I get treatment and health check-ups with that amount. Earlier, when I was seriously ill, my brothers helped me and saved me. They are capable and love me very much. But it was not right to be a burden on them for a long time. Since I had to pay the rent in the market, I went to my own house to live.
Even though the accommodation is convenient, the food and treatment expenses are double that. I spend about 3 thousand a month on ration, water, and gas. My body is weak due to long hours of labor and heavy lifting. Due to which I get sick even after doing a little work, I need regular checkups. I should not eat haphazardly. This is the treatment of my life and if I go right and left, it will cost about 1 thousand.
I go to Bahrabise Hospital and Medical for treatment. Going to Kathmandu for checkups costs a lot of money. That's why I don't dare to go anywhere. There is no other big dream. It is a lonely life. I keep thinking that I could go on a pilgrimage. It is not possible to go on a pilgrimage just to get rid of food when I am in a hurry.
It doesn't happen just by dreaming. I want to help others. But it is frustrating to see that my entire life is about to end for a single bite. If the Tatopani border had been open, the laborers would not have had such a hard time. It is not something that can be seen, it needs to be written about. It is difficult for us, the common people, to survive.
Presentation: Anish Tiwari
Published in the Household Expenses column Also read other materials
