There is nothing in Ilam. There is no Naduli. That is why I am walking around Kailali, Kanchanpur and other districts of the Tarai and hills asking for help. While walking around like this, I came to Dadeldhura a few days ago. Now, after spending a few days here, I am thinking of going around Doti and going down to the Tarai.

I am a resident of Shanti Tol, Ghodaghodi Municipality-2, Kailali. I am now 54 years old. But, I don't know where I have wandered, which place I have wandered. I don't even know what the world is like.

Every morning, new hope arises in my life. I have had a small dream. As it happens, I am now trying to fulfill that dream. I was born with a problem of blindness. I have no idea about the color, shape, or form of objects in the world. Since childhood, my world has been limited to sound, touch, and imagination. I am blind, but the light in my heart has not gone out. Even though the world is dark, the desire to live does not die. That desire is what is driving me forward. What should I do when I can't work? I had to feed my stomach even by begging. But begging is not that easy. When my stomach cries out with hunger, hunger is greater than humiliation. I leave my house every morning with a heavy heart. Every time I worry about whether I will get help today, I am always thinking.

My wife is mentally unstable. She is the sole breadwinner of the house. My wife works in the fields and other people's houses to make ends meet. Her hard work has provided the family with food and drink.

It has been 10 years since my father passed away. My mother also left us on the day of Bhai Tika. We were three brothers. One brother has also died. The other brother is also mentally disabled. The local government provided some help when I took him to Kathmandu for treatment. The treatment did not cover that much. After that, the state did not provide any support. I get regular allowance but it is not enough to support my family and daily life. When it is not enough, I go to the market and beg.

Now I have become a habit of begging. Sometimes when I go to the market, I cannot cross the road. I only hear the sound of cars. I do not know which direction I am going. Since I have started having a lot of problems, I have started walking with my neighbor brother Ram Bahadur Malla. He sees the way. He also knows how and where to go. We have planned to go to Dipayal by gathering support in the Dadeldhura market for a few days. After asking for help all day in Kailali and Kanchanpur, I return home in the evening. When I come to the mountains, there is no place to stay. I stay where I sleep.