I have become like the moon on the mountain. I don't know when I will be able to breathe again. I spend my days thinking, "Today or tomorrow?" My only support is my son. There are only two of us in the family. This son also keeps getting injured. He has broken his leg twice. Once his arm was broken. Yet this son is my hope, my trust, and my face.

Now my body's energy is also decreasing day by day. Nowadays, it is difficult to even walk a step. There is no one in the house except the same son who earns money. There was a little land. Since there was no one to work, we sold that land and finished it. Since I was little, our family was raised by plowing someone else's plow. The situation is the same even now.

Every day, we do someone else's work and make a living by cooking and eating the food we brought in the evening. Back then, we had a little energy. Now, all our energy has decreased. If I eat in the morning, it won't be in the evening. If I eat in the evening, it won't be in the morning. On the day I finish, the same son goes to work. We have been supporting our mother and son with the food we bring from there.

We don't have a single sorrow. Sorrows pile up on sorrows. The house is one room. We sleep, cook and eat in it. That room is also dilapidated on one side. How can a person who cannot afford to eat properly keep this house? If the dilapidated house could be kept, it would have been warm in the bitter cold of winter. Water leaks from the dilapidated place in the rain. For one thing, the house is shabby and there is no bedclothes to cover it. It has been years since the bodies of both mother and son have been able to wear new and thick clothes. We have been wearing clothes that we have brought from somewhere. Now this year, winter has set in. The cold is unbearable.

Sometimes I feel like cursing God. Why do they do this? Some people don't get a single meal. Some worry about what to eat. It is difficult to spend the day and night in Dolpa during Pus, Magh and Falgun. It seems like if someone had brought warm clothes, this winter would have been over. I do not have money to buy clothes. Who will help poor people like us in such a situation? Seeing their situation, I feel like both mother and son could have died sooner. I am in this situation.

My husband has been gone for more than 30 years. When he was there, he would have at least brought food to fill our stomachs. Now we are destitute. There is no one to bring firewood and water. Until three or four years ago, I used to go and find firewood. Now I can't even do that. When my son comes back from work, he brings firewood and that's why we light a fire and then we open the fire, cook the food and eat. Neither the government nor the village cares about us. My son is also 55 years old. If this son is unable to eat, there is no choice but to starve to death. Sometimes I feel like cursing God. Why do we do this? Some people don't get a single meal. Some people worry about what to eat. I don't think the days of poor people like us will ever come.

I hear that the government has built houses for others. My house has been destroyed for years, no one has built a house for me. The government only looks after the rich and the wealthy! When my son goes to work, I am restless all day long. I feel hungry and thirsty. There is no one to give me water even from the tap. Where can I find someone to stay with me? No matter how hungry and thirsty I feel, I have to wait for the same son.

In the evening, my son comes home tired from doing someone else's work. He sighs long and builds a fire and cooks it for me. If this son were not with me, I would have died of hunger by now. For me, this son is like God. Maybe because he is very old. Sometimes I don't even know when I have passed urine or stool. Sometimes I even think it would be better to die than to live like this. What to do? Time doesn't come by calling, you never know when it will come. Still, I keep calling God to come quickly and take me away.