It is time to rest according to age. I should live happily with my husband and children. All this has become a dream. I used to say that I would suffer when I was young and enjoy my old age. Even after crossing 60 years, I am still struggling to earn a living.

No son was born, the daughter started to manage her own household. After the passing of her supportive husband, she has to bear all the burden of life on her own. Now, there is no place for me to complain, no one to listen to her.

I brought vegetables and fruits from the village to the market and sold them, and bought salt, oil and rice from the market and took them home. Except for vegetables, I buy and eat everything else. I live in Majhkot, Byas Municipality-13. I have to make ends meet. On top of that, I am unable to live and eat happily due to the debt incurred when my daughters got married. To meet household expenses and repay the loan taken for treatment when I am unwell, I carry the pulses, vegetables and fruits grown in my garden on my head and go to Damauli market to sell. The income from this is enough to buy salt oil for a few days. Social security allowance and orange farming are making a big difference. My parents are also from Majhkot.

My younger daughter and I live together. My younger son-in-law has gone to India for employment. There is a house and land in the village. There is a small house that can accommodate the family. How many ropanis of land is it? I don't know. I have planted about 500 orange plants. I have a garden to grow vegetables. Many orange plants have dried up due to disease. Now there are 210 good plants left.

I grow vegetables and fruits according to the season. Some I eat for myself and my friends. The rest I take to Damauli market and sell. In 2075 BS, my husband died. After that, I get an allowance of 8 thousand rupees for three months from the municipality.

This year, I earned 45 thousand rupees by selling oranges on contract. If the orange trees were not diseased, there would be a lot of income. I broke some dried orange trees and made firewood. Some have fallen in the garden. I put oranges in a basket and take them to the market to sell. Selling one basket of oranges earns 2,000 to 2,500 rupees. I am reducing my debt with the money I have sold oranges. I am carrying a debt of 62,000 rupees in my pocket after 25 days of meat, which is about 30,000 rupees and 32,000 rupees after additional 25 days.

When I get work, I take loans from mother groups, neighbors and relatives. Later, I reduce it by earning money. The place where I took the loan has asked for money. But, now I am not earning. It is becoming difficult to earn and take it to all places by myself.

I brought vegetables and fruits from the village to the market and sold them, and then bought salt, oil, and rice from the market and took them home. Except for vegetables, I buy everything else and eat it. The price is also very high. A sack of rice worth Rs. 2,000 is enough for a month. When guests come, even that is not enough. Sometimes I cook with gas and sometimes with firewood.

Sometimes I have to hire a laborer to do the field work. They should be paid Rs. 5/600 per day. The income is small, but the expenses are all-encompassing. Still, I have not given up. I am struggling. Whatever the situation, I want to live happily as long as I live.