I learned to make Bhakka when I was young. We eat this Bhakka as a snack during festivals and fairs. This snack of the Rajbanshi community has now become a common snack for everyone.

Bhakka is sold in squares, markets and streets for about 6 months in winter. I had the innate skill, but it has been about four years since I started selling Bhakka. Instead of spending time at home, making and selling Bhakka in the winter helps to meet household expenses. My husband Kashinath makes wooden furniture. His daily wage is 900. When he can save, it is 27-28 thousand per month. However, there is no question of saving the earnings of one person. He earned and ate.

Now I also earn 5-600 rupees a day by deducting expenses. After combining the expenses of both of us, there is some savings. I have a house in Pokharia, Biratnagar Metropolitan City-1. Even though it is small, it is still my own house. At least I don't have to pay rent. We are a small family of four including my husband, a son and a daughter. Comparatively, the expenses are also low. But, how much money is this!

Even in the midst of sorrow, there is a wonderful light in our house – the laughter of our children. They tell us what they have read, talk about their dreams. When they talk, we forget our fatigue. Especially, 10-12 thousand is spent on food, 8-10 thousand on children's education and 10 thousand on in-laws' treatment. Mother-in-law and father-in-law are not allowed to stay with us, but when they get sick, the responsibility of treating them also falls on us. Our sons and daughters were educated in boarding schools when they were young. At that time, they were educated with great difficulty. Now, our daughter is a bachelor and our son is studying in 12th. Now, the expenses have increased even more.

There is no big dream. My hometown is Jhapa, Birtamod. I came to Biratnagar after getting married at the age of 13. I was gripped by sadness from the day I arrived, and it has not left me till now. Even the word "sadness" has become annoying. Sometimes I feel like cursing it, "Oh sadness! How much longer will I hold on to it?"

Sometimes I feel like my life is like a winter fog. It is dim, but somewhere inside it, a light is burning with desire. Where can everything be easy in life? Children's education, food, coaching, books and copies... The expenses on everything are increasing. Sometimes I feel like the money I receive flows away like water. But still, after looking at the faces of my children, I forget my fatigue. Sometimes I wonder - how many human pains are hidden even in a bag of bread? But that's all I have to say. I walk with Bhakka carrying the story of my own hard work.

When I return home, my husband comes with a cloth full of wood dust. The two of us sit with our legs crossed, telling each other about the pain of the day. But, even in the midst of the sorrow, there is a wonderful light in our house – the laughter of our children. They tell us what they have read, talk about their dreams. When they talk, we forget our fatigue.

Sometimes, after nightfall, I stand in the kitchen staring into space. I think, 'How long have I traveled? From a young girl of 13 years old, I have become a woman who stands up for everyone in the family.' This also makes me proud. When others see me, they think of me as a woman who does ordinary work. Let them think. What's the shame in eating? You can't steal!

But I know, I am the hero of my own life . For my children, for my in-laws, for my husband . I have never lost to life . I do not know what will happen tomorrow, but I am confident that my hard work today will become the foundation of the children's light tomorrow . My future, written in the smoke of the burning fire of Bhakka, is the hope of my children and the continuous struggle of life . 

Presentation: Parbat Portal