I was cheated when I applied for citizenship because I was illiterate. If the year of birth had not been different in my citizenship, I would have received old age allowance in two years. It is not possible to get benefits in my work if I am illiterate.

Now, it has been more than 40 years since I started carrying a sack on my back to meet my household expenses and daily needs. I did not go abroad to support my family. I am carrying a heavy load here at Julaghat (Nepal-India border). For me, festivals are here. Sometimes I go home. I feel the love of my grandson. Even though I am old enough to live with my grandson, I cannot eat without working.

My home is in Purchaudi-6, Baitadi. I am so busy carrying the load that I do not even realize that the day has passed. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I take off the sack tied around my waist only after evening. The sack makes it easier to carry the load. This sack tied around my waist is our identity. If I have a sack tied around my waist, everyone knows that it carries a load, otherwise no one knows. I have carried heavy loads for so many years, and now all the traders in Nepal and India know me. Nowadays, the traders themselves call me to carry loads.

Everyone from traders to those who bring household goods to Julaghat comes from our Nepal. It makes me happy to carry the loads of my own people. Some days I earn from 1500 to 2000 rupees. Some days I don't even have a single rupee. I pay for the rations for the days I don't earn with the money I earn on other days. If I don't get work carrying loads for many days, I have to go hungry.

In the beginning, I spent many nights hungry. Nowadays, all the traders know me. They also lend me money. Now, many of us have become heavy lifters. If you don't spend extra, you can earn a good income from it. I have one son and two daughters. I raised my children here, carried heavy loads, and got them married. With the savings I spent on my wife's treatment, but I couldn't save her. Neither did I have any money left, nor did my wife survive. I can't sleep at night when I think about her.

It's been 12 years since my wife passed away. She had cancer. I took her to Kathmandu for treatment. I spent nine lakhs on treatment. Now I have only my daughter-in-law, son, and grandson at home. My son does the farming at home. I have no complaints about my son-in-law. They don't ask me to work. But I don't like staying at home like this. Here, I carry heavy loads all day long, and even on days when I don't have to carry heavy loads, I spend time with my friends.

Sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren are just peace of mind. A friend in sorrow and joy is a wife. I carry the burden of someone like me for free. I don't even bargain with them. They give and give of their own free will, and even if they don't, I don't ask for it. Now I don't have to earn for anyone. I only have to earn for my own stomach. I can't carry much weight anymore.

After starting to receive old age allowance, I want to live comfortably at home. I am very worried about whether I will survive until I receive old age allowance. The old age allowance will be enough to cover my food and medicine. I love this place now. I would like to go home. But where can I eat the food I want at home? Here, even if I carry a lot of weight all day, I can buy fish, meat, vegetables, milk and curd and eat as much as I want. Where can I find a house like this! At home, sometimes you have to eat without vegetables and salt.

I am not ashamed of my heavy lifting. I believe that people should not beg and steal food. Hard work can be done in any way. What is there to be ashamed of! No work is small or big.

Yesterday I had a problem with my right eye. The medicine did not help. Now I can't see with this eye, it has completely closed. Now I have planned to save some money and go to Geta Eye Hospital for an operation. It is the Tihar season. There is a lot of work during this season. Many people come home from work. They also pay well for carrying their loads.