I have done many things in my life. I have washed clothes at other people's houses, worked as a laborer, and cleaned hospitals. After a lot of hardships and setbacks, I finally got a job collecting garbage under Tilottama Municipality. It has been five years since I started collecting garbage. I collect papers thrown on the roadside and those blown by the wind, and I mow and clean grass.

It is not written that there is no rest in fate - there is never any rest in life. Work is a compulsion until I die. Sometimes when I think about the pain, I feel like I could have died. How easy is it to die! I have the responsibility of four daughters and two sons. Even now, when I think about how I raised them, it feels like a long time. It takes many days to tell all the pain. The story never ends. In 2072 BS, my husband fell ill and passed away. When he was there, I felt like I had a husband. After the breakup, I became lonely. I became empty. After that, I saw only struggle ahead of me.

I was born in Parbat district. Apart from writing my name, I did not know anything about my education. My father raised me happily, even though he worked as a tailor. At the age of 19, she got married to Kapur Nepali from Tilottama-6, Rupandehi. However, life after marriage was never happy. She had to suffer because her husband did not pay attention to her work. She suffered as she had to. I feel like a miserable person. I am now 53 years old. Even now, I feel like I cannot eat without working, and I feel like I am not lucky enough to eat sweets.

Four daughters and one son are married. The youngest son is studying in class 11. He wants to study a lot. I have no way to educate him now. I have to buy everything and run the house. The eldest son went abroad in April. I took out a loan of 2 lakhs and sent him. The house is a tin hut. There are neither enough rooms nor a good bed. When you are poor and sad, you can sleep on the floor.

I built a house by taking out a loan. Now my salary is 20,000 rupees a month. But I have to pay 30,000 rupees a month as loan installments. I can't even take my salary with me when I go home. I buy a quintal of rice by paying 9,000 rupees at once. I get 3,000 rupees for cooking oil, salt, and vegetables. I have diabetes, thyroid, and migraine. I need 3,000 rupees a month to buy medicine. I don't even know how much I get for my father's education expenses.

It was a dream to eat what I like and wear what others wear. Maybe because I haven't felt happy at any moment in my life, it doesn't seem like life has taught me anything except sorrow. My work is sometimes in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon. Duty is from 6 am to 1 pm or from 9 am to 5 pm. It hurts my back a lot when I bend down to pick up garbage on the street. There is no shortage of people who throw paper away without being able to leave the place after picking it up.

I have done my job, but it is not easy to work! When I want to eat fruits, when I want to eat spicy food, I never get enough. There are many days when I have difficulty eating lentils and rice. When I have to do everything alone to support my family, there is nothing more sad and difficult than that.

If I had enough money, I would have had a neat house. I would have been able to eat delicious food. I would have gone for walks. I would have worn nice clothes. My life was spent in poverty, and I still feel sad. Money is very important. But I think that's how I feel. Those who have enough don't have to suffer, right? I was in a situation where I had to spend 1/1 rupee yesterday, today too, and tomorrow too. I have grown old thinking that I have children, and that they will take care of them.