In the morning, the younger son was putting books in his bag and saying, "Father, the day to pay the tuition money has come." I looked at his face. There was a slight shade of shame in his eyes. I know why his morale is down.

Every month comes a day like this and I have to put money in his bag . This time he had only three hundred in his pocket. The tuition fee is five hundred. I also tried to smile by saying, "Son, if I earn by noon, I will add another 200". But that smile felt false to himself .

I live in Biratnagar Metropolitan City-5. We have a small house in a small town within the metropolis. Thatched roof, narrow room and one meter open yard in front of the house . The morning sun shines in the yard, and the wife washes the dishes in the same sun.

It's been two years since I walked like this on the street. Before that, I used to work in a factory. I used to sweat from seven in the morning to seven in the evening. The owner said that he would give a salary of 15,000. However, at the end of the month, only 12,000 rupees were received. That too was never met in time . After many months of suffering like this, I finally quit my job . 

I started selling vegetables on the street thinking that I would become a boss instead of making someone else a boss. He did not have the money to start the vegetable business. I started business by taking a loan from a neighbor at a high interest rate. "What will you do after leaving work?" asked his wife in a frightened voice that day. I said 'I do business on the street' . She was satisfied when she said that she would rather earn and eat than feed others.

Today, my and my eldest son's earnings are about 30,000 a month. The elder son works in the steel industry . It is consumed from morning to evening. Like mine, his hands have become dry . No matter how much you try to reduce the house expenses, it will not decrease . Daughter studies in class 11. Tuition, books, clothes all have expenses . Younger son in 9th standard, he also has the same expenses . It is a government school, but tuition is mandatory to improve education.

We buy what we eat from the market. We buy vegetables, satu, rice, pulses, salt, oil. There is no farm like in the village. Vegetables grown by others have to be bought at a high price. Mother! Let's make fried chiura today,'' the daughter sometimes says . At such a time, the wife shyly says, "There's no oil, but the oil is running out." After swimming, it feels like going to a restaurant and eating delicious food . But, life is not as expected. If you don't earn one day, you will have a problem of how to make ends meet tomorrow. For us, traveling and having fun is like a dream.

In the last Holi, the youngest said, 'Dad! Please bring me a new t-shirt, I feel ashamed to wear the old one with my friends. That day I also felt very regretful . It happened that I could not fulfill my son's wish. The line of despair clearly visible on his face burned his heart.

After eating rice in the evening, children open books in the reading room, while I clean the basket for tomorrow's business . Wife asks, 'Do you still dream of building a big house?' I give a faint smile. And I say, 'If you stop dreaming, living is useless.' 

When walking on the road carrying baskets, sometimes the wind can blow away the handkerchief, but it cannot blow away the burden of my heart . I leave home at seven o'clock in the morning, I walk around various streets and squares. Sometimes there is a good sale in the market, sometimes you have to return home in the evening with a full basket of goods. "How was the sale today?" This is the first question of the wife. "Okay, I lied that I made a profit of 500 today". But sometimes that doesn't even happen.'

happened like this one day. Shop all day . But the Ari Ghopte rain that fell since morning continued till the evening . No one came in the name of the customer. I had just reached home after pulling the cart in the evening, a soft voice came from inside the room, "Dad! Is it time to pay the tuition sir?' 

I searched my pocket, it was empty. Didn't sleep that night . Pour out your heart to your wife . She encouraged . How long have I fallen asleep? In the morning, I went to the market with a little ground. After selling all that throughout the day, I collected the money for my son's tuition . On that day I was thinking, life is really like 'looty lyayo, buti khayo' . If you earn today, you can eat tomorrow, otherwise you will starve .

Couldn't save anything for future . The worry of the future of the son and daughter continues to bother him a lot . However, despite all these difficulties, I believe in karma. When I see the morning sun, I think I will try again today . "Life is a battle," I say. Wife laughs, 'When do you think this battle will be won ?'