I carry and sell maize on a bicycle. It has been 17 years since he started selling corn like this. Every day I wake up at 4 in the morning and ride my bicycle to get maize sometimes to Kalimati and sometimes to Machhapokhari market. During the season, I sell 100 to 150 corn. Most of the household expenses are going on by selling corn.

I was born in Swayambhu of Kathmandu and spent my childhood in the hills of Swayambhu. After my father passed away due to illness when he was young, there was always sadness and trouble in our house. After the death of our father, we have to raise our four sons, teach them, and take care of the house expenses. It was very difficult. Due to this trouble at home, I missed my studies .

Now my family consists of me, my wife, my son .  Son is currently studying computer science in 12th grade at a community college . We have rented a room in Hattigaunda . The room rent alone is seven thousand per month. In the expensive city, it is very difficult to cover the household expenses with one person's income . But I have been using it anyway. 

After selling corn for 17 years, sometimes selling Tihar materials in carts, I collected a little and deposited 2 lakhs in the cooperative. But the cooperative sank. After knowing this news, I couldn't sleep for one/two months . Even now, I am hoping that the money will come. 

For others, 2 lakh  rupees will be too little . But I only know, how much you have to suffer to earn 2 lakhs . Earlier, I used to not only sell green corn, but also sell it in baskets. By doing so, the earnings would also be a little better . But that cannot be done now. Because the metropolis saw that the cart would be taken away. So I bring corn on my bicycle and sell it door to door .  I only sell corn during the corn season, but corn is not available during Dasain and Tihar. At that time, I used to sell Tihar materials, Bhaitika, Vaimasala, candles. 

Selling corn is easy! If you can get good corn and sell it, you will get a little profit. But sometimes corn cobs are bad. And the people who buy corn do not agree to take it . Bad corn stays that way . At that time I feel a lot of loss . However, doing any work does not always result in profit. At that time, I thought that 'life is a game of profit and loss'.

I am 45 years old. Although he could not fulfill his dream of staying in the country, he had a big dream of sending his son to a private college. But I was afraid that I would not be able to fulfill this dream. There was also home-counseling on what to do if the college fee could not be paid . I reminded my son about this and enrolled him in a community college. Sometimes I wonder if my son will hurt me. The fact that he could not teach in the college as he wanted eats my heart from time to time . At that time, I feel fear in my heart .

I wonder if what I did will make my son feel bad . I also wonder if my son's friends are teasing him. When such a thought comes, another thing also comes to mind.  I have not stolen from anyone, I have not eaten through corruption, I have earned as much as I can by working hard. The son will surely understand this. 

In Nepal, the behavior is according to the job . But working and eating is the best job . So I think my son should never think bad after seeing my work. 

At this age, I don't have many other dreams. Even though he is not able to study, he wants to teach his son up to Master's degree. But the son is saying that he will not study in government college after 12th. It hurts my heart to listen to him . I have reminded you. Now let's see what happens after 12!

continues sadly. But health problems keep bothering . My heart has shown slight malfunction and I need to take medicine for that too.  3,000 per month is spent on buying medicines. Ration expenses like oil, rice, pulses, gas, and the money earned from house rent will all be spent . So I don't have savings at all . All the money that was deposited in the cooperative after trusting has been sunk . Now there is no money, there is no trust of the cooperative.

One day when I was using my mobile phone, I heard a song saying that life is going on. Sometimes it really feels like this song is telling the truth. I feel like my life is going on and on and on.  But what can be done! Apart from comforting yourself  .