These snowy days of winter, and especially the snowy evenings of the valley! On such a frozen evening, one can find brown, black, and blue cats migrating from the Tantric alley around the National Assembly.

A monkey sitting on someone's shoulder near the cowshed and eating butterscotch may stare at you. Aniruddha, who has woken up from her sleep, may come to your window with a chocolate bar and charm you. She may insist on not putting out the cigarette you are smoking. Estre may rebel. If that happens, don't hesitate, go straight to the National Assembly! Because Kumar Nagarkoti, who is full of tantra in all those things, will be found filling the four corners of the assembly hall with poems. He will be seen chanting the mantra of life in the Surasaptaka of music, that evening may come soon.

Kumar Nagarkoti, who has gifted a different taste and style to Nepali literature, is truly a yogi. With Marlboro on his lips, ‘Double Shot Espresso’ in his palm and poetry in his heart, this writer will be waiting for you on the stage of the National Auditorium on the evening of December 25. Such an occasional program is named ‘Yadakada: An Evening of Musical Poetry’.

Nagarkoti will be found humming poetry along with music in his own unique style at the National Auditorium in the capital on December 10. The organizing organization, Communicate Technology Pvt. Ltd., has said that at that program, young musician Anup Timilsina will provide Nagarkoti with full support. Nagarkoti will recite his new and old poems and interesting anecdotes. He will also sing songs like ‘Kahilekahi Gharima Honshu...’, ‘Kharpanma Boki Hidchu...’ in his own style.                                      

Nagarkoti is one who prefers experimental-craft in Nepali literature. If you read his books ‘Mokshanta: Kathmandu Fever’, ‘Akshargunj’, ‘Fossil’, ‘Mystica’, ‘Jogiyana’, ‘Coma: A Political Sex’, ‘Bathtub’, ‘Kalpagrantha’, you will be sure – Nagarkoti is a dangerous man for ‘stylish style’. And, this news that a poet is going to recite a solo poem at the National Assembly is probably heard for the first time. A poem that I heard from him one evening many years ago keeps repeating in my mind:

Mother! Shall I be born or not?

I am a fetus

pregnant in your womb.

I am yet to be born

Mother! 

Should I be born or not?

I have been accused

In this space-like

in your sacred womb

You have probably noticed the irregularity in your menstrual cycle and have probably whispered in the ear of some clean-dressed, bearded gentleman:

‘I am going to be the mother of your child.’

But, Mother! 

I am in a dilemma

Should I be born or not?

If you look at me through a CT scan

on an X-ray plate

you will see a lump of flesh

getting fertilized

black and white poetic picture

I will continue to develop in the void space of this womb 

I will grow like grass 

I will sprout from a formless state

like an almond tree

Mother! 

My potential birth

will be your beautiful creative achievement

will be your beautiful creative expression 

But before birth, I have some childish questions . Childish curiosities . Mother, why are the books you read so polluted ? Those nonsense are polluting me in the womb . The breath you are taking – why is there so much radiation and disorder  in it ? Is there no possibility of clean breathing ? Why is there so much unwellness, dishonor and corruption in your collective consciousness that I am gradually taking ? What violence is prevalent in that region that I have not yet seen ? Are there hatred, hunger and war? Is your world a pollution-free zone or not? Is existence cursed or blessed! Is it right for countless unborn lives like me to be born in your world or not?)

Whatever

After some time

Mother!

Inside your womb I will start moving like a mouse.

I am just a weak possibility

Of being/not being

I am just a chance

Of being/not being

I am just an abstract coincidence

Of being/not being

In this primitive womb

An eternal destiny

is always active

Where from a piece of sperm

A model of a human being is amazingly prepared

This is such an early stage of existence

Where no one has a monopoly declaration of their birth

And this is also the secret background of the theater

Where the character actors are eager to choose their own masks

and make their debut on the stage

This ancient womb

is every man's first

exile-house where his 

interim future

is built .

Nirvana .

I am a fetus

pregnant in your womb .

I have yet to be born

Mother! 

Shall I be born or not ?

---

On the evening of this poetry-listening, Nagarkoti had said, 'Frankly speaking, I am not a wise/wise man . What sweet illusion does mother still have, that I am a wise man? Because I write poetry. The person who writes poetry for my mother is not a poet, but a wise man.'

000

Let's go back to 'Poetry-Evening'. The rehearsal of 'Yadakada' has been going on at Shilpi Theater for 21 days. On the cold Saturday of Poush, Nagarkoti informed - Nagarkoti rehearsed his new poem 'Bohemian Nomad' not on the stage of Shilpi, but at Aryaghat. 'We hummed Bohemian Nomad with the Yalambar Baja on the ghat, sitting between life and death,' Nagarkoti said, 'Sometimes you don't just listen to poetry, you also hum it in your heart.' And, the organizer is excited - tickets for the poetry concert are being sold through eSewa and many digital platforms.

For Nagarkoti, poetry is not just a combination of letters, but a ‘schizophrenic’ journey, where the line between reality and dream blurs. Sometimes his words are as fickle as the bells of Pashupati and sometimes as philosophical as the smoke of a pyre burning on the banks of the Bagmati.

‘At the Nagarkoti concert, poetry, music and evening will meet each other like shadows. Nagarkoti will stand as poetry, Anup Timilsina will flow as melody and we will meet ourselves,’ said Rajan Godar, the media head of the organizing organization, about this music, evening and shadow. This Godar has a sacred proposition, ‘Today’s life is so busy with routine that existence itself has become chaotic. ‘Yadakada’ is a momentary stepping stone in this chaos, a light support for a chaotic life. Yadakada means not being in between. It means being silent in between. It means taking a break from yourself in between. How long will you run in the throes of a never-ending longing? How long will you keep existence on overtime? This is not a question, but rather a proposal to sit with poetry and music for an evening.

Nagarkoti's canvas and the magic of words

On an evening that is going to make history in the poetry genre, Nagarkoti's fingers can make someone reading Marx's manifesto sneer or can even tease someone else wearing Marx's manifesto. Going beyond the limits of possibility, those poems can grab your little finger and climb the ladder of dreams and immerse themselves in the five elements. Well, to be a fellow traveler on the journey of those poems, you have to buy a ticket through eSewa. Who knows, the seat of the ticket you buy may be facing Nagarkoti!

For Nagarkoti, poetry is not just a combination of letters, it is a 'schizophrenic' journey, where the line between reality and dream is blurred. Sometimes his words are as fickle as the bells of Pashupati and sometimes as philosophical as the smoke of a pyre burning on the banks of the Bagmati. In the evening of 'Kavita Sandhya', he will present his 'abstract/intangible' imaginations to the audience by coating them with music, which will open new doors of consciousness.

The magic of words and the mantra of music

When Nagarkoti, who is often seen in black and red, stands on stage, there will not only be a poetry reading, but a 'symphony' of words will flow. Nagarkoti's poems are not just words, there is and will be the silence of the ghat - a wonderful world of free imagination. His poems sometimes satirize political inconsistencies and sometimes expose social ugliness. But, this time, these 'sharp' words of his will be set to the melodious melody of music. Therefore, this is the first program of this kind to be held at the National Assembly. Yes, this is a history.

Let us say it again - young music seeker Anup Timilsina will come to support Nagarkoti's words in the creation of this history. Anup will give a shape to the 'spontaneous beauty' found in Nagarkoti's writings through sound. Where words end, Anup's melody will come from there and where the melody disappears, Nagarkoti's tantra will come from there. Therefore, this is an evening where the combination of words and music will produce tantra and mantra.

A ‘pause’ in the noise

We are living in an era where noise has become synonymous with life. Rushing from morning to evening, slavery to technology and mental fatigue. ‘Yadakada’ aims to give the audience and listeners a ‘rest’ from that noise for a few moments. Nagarkoti’s recitation and Anup Timilsina’s musical composition will transform the National Assembly into a meditation center where you will feel the entrance to another world. A ‘pause’ is necessary for a tired, running and squeezed life. That ‘pause’ can be very dynamic.

In this pause, you will hear the rhythm of your own breathing. A vague memory of your forgotten childhood or a strange fear of the future may come crashing down on you along with the ‘metallic’ voice coming out of Nagarkoti’s throat. This is not just a program, it is a deep ‘meditation’ within itself.

Self-respect of writing and love of the reader

This is not just a program, but a serious question. There is still a misconception in Nepali society—‘You cannot live by writing alone.’ Why can’t you? This is the question facing Nepali speakers. A writer stands on a grand stage with self-respect on the strength of his creations, and in a society where people drink tea and recite poems, literature lovers buy tickets to listen to him. This is a wonderful subject in itself.

Also, this program is a test for Nepali readers. How much do we love our language and literature? Are we ready to celebrate the creations of our creators as a festival? Will the creations of our creators ever become culture? The evening of December 25 (Push 10) will answer these questions. This is the idea of ​​Rajan Godar, one of the organizers of these programs.

A symphony of music and poems of winter

That evening will not be just a part of time, but a ‘sound festival’. A connoisseur of the unique and subtle dimensions of world cinema, Nagarkoti, has been deeply impressed by one cinema—‘Sound of Noise’, where everything from a hospital stethoscope to the rustling of bank notes creates an organic melody, where even the current running through a bare electric wire beats a unique rhythm. Embracing exactly that experimental and rebellious spirit, young composer Anup Timilsina will fill the evening with music.

The music that Anup will compose will not be a prisoner of any traditional raga or popular style. There, the rustling of the raw sounds of life will be more than the classical solemnity of the harmonium. When he fills the stage of ‘Yadakada’ with new colors of sound, the audience will hear – music within emptiness and rhythm within noise. That evening, music and poetry will dance in front of each other.

When music penetrates the ears and reaches the soul, it is no longer just sound, it becomes poetry. That is why Anup’s musical experiment will actually be a collection of wordless poems. As abstract as Nagarkoti’s imagination, but very full of emotion. That evening of ‘Yadakada’ will teach us – music is all around us, we just have forgotten to listen. Every tune of that evening will be a complete poem in itself.

Epilogue

Nagarkoti wanted to rehearse that program at the Ghat. He feels that the greatest truth of life and the deepest silence are found at the Ghat. त्यसैले घाटको शान्तिलाई सहरको बीचमा ल्याएर, एस्प्रेसोको कडापनमा कविताको मिठास घोलेर नगरकोटीले काठमाडौंलाई एउटा नयाँ ‘अनुभव’ पस्किँदै छन् ।