Usha Dhakal, the mother of actress Lakshmi Bardeva, took a tough decision after 26 years of married life and said, 'Now I live for myself.' It had no account in the book of life.

Trapped in a contract for the dream of children, when she made a decision, her own people also stood against her. Her daughters judged her actions as wrong and said, 'You are a fraud.' How much she must have been broken when her loved ones were also considering her as unpleasant! Lakshmi tries to feel. But mother Usha insisted, "If I am right, what if the whole world is destroyed?" 

Usha, who had lost many times, didn't want to lose anymore, she didn't want to lose again after losing many times. Instead, she used to say to her daughters, 'I am tired, one day you will also be tired.' No one in the family could tolerate it. Lakshmi disagreed with the path chosen by her mother. She stopped talking. Usha went to Kuwait for foreign employment. When her daughter did not speak for five years, her heart must have been so cold! How loud! Lakshmi tries to feel. Mother used to put pictures with her daughter on Facebook, Lakshmi used to remove them. He did not invite his mother even in his own wedding. But she felt hurt by his absence.

Thoughts are changing like old times are changing and new times are coming. Slowly she started looking back at her mother. She began to remember the difficult struggles her mother had faced. She started digging for the sacrifices she made for her family, her extinguished dreams. Then she asked herself the question, "Was the freedom that Mummy took at that time not right?" She started to self-examine, "How many conservative traditions have we been suffering from?" 

Why do people avoid someone? After finding the answer, Lakshmi came to a decision, 'Living for yourself is a beautiful thing. Mami did that.'

The waiting would have been painful. Yet Usha knew that one day her daughter would call and apologize. And she will call me mummy. One day after many years, Lakshmi called her mother. She broke down on the video call. Usha took care and said, 'I knew. That one day you will call.' 

...

Lakshmi played a brilliant character on the stage, including 'Jar', 'Matha Panchar', 'Katha Express', '12 Durvasa', in all of them she met the reflection of her mother. Whether it is playing the character of a tempo driver in the film 'Bulbul' or playing characters in 'Mr Jhole', 'Jalo', 'Paper', 'Dambaruko Dandibio', Selfiking' or the upcoming projects 'Anant', 'Vichacha', 'Hami Tin Bhai', 'Shakti' including the main role, she is portraying her mother in the character she lived. 

Usha never wanted her daughter's freedom. In the dream, she was always defecating. "My mother also had a hand in reaching where I am now," Lakshmi remembers. Mother Lakshmi, who was raising three daughters in poverty in Kathmandu, seemed harsh. She beat him painfully. When she was pinched at the moment of being beaten by her mother, she used to tell her mother till later, 'At one time it seemed that you didn't love at all.'

10 months ago, Lakshmi also became a mother for the first time. Then she began to find the answer to the question herself. There was a 16-year age gap between him and his mother. There was no one to help the mother, no one to guide her. There was no one to listen to his sorrows. Lakshmi thought, 'I have a supportive husband, I will be able to return to work soon. And I'm having a hard time. At that time, my sister was born 15 months after me, how difficult it must have been for Mami!' They had their own garment factory. Naveen Bardeva used to work in the same garment. Usha's father used to appreciate Naveen's honesty. He loved her. Naveen and Usha met while going to that garment from time to time. Usha was only thirteen/fourteen years old. Naveen is seven years older than him. They started liking each other. And Usha runs away with Naveen. For Usha, Maat's door was then closed. 

After the birth of Lakshmi and Miley Bahini, the father took Usha to a village in Ramechhap and left her. Mami used to go to carry red soil. He slipped and fell on the road while it was raining. We also remember that we were told that mummy would not survive,'' Lakshmi says through Smriti's eyes, 'but mummy slowly recovered.' There was a severe shortage of food. In the name of food, there were days when you had to satisfy yourself by eating and drinking. One day, Bala's younger uncle told his sister-in-law that there was trouble in the village. Then Ba brought them back to Kathmandu. Lakshmi remembers walking along the river bank when she came to Kathmandu. And I remember how many nights I spent in a room without belongings.

Mother Usha always wanted to stand on her own. She started a vegetable business. Later he started tailoring. Mother started working as a helper in other people's homes. Mummy always helped Daddy to earn money. Mummy would tell Daddy to do business. He used to avoid it,” says Lakshmi, “Mummy used to explain the account to Daddy. Daddy didn't understand. This is how the conflict started at home.'

What did the mother not do to raise her daughters? She washed dishes and washed clothes in other people's houses. Sometimes the daughters also helped Usha. Mom also worked as a jamie. The Lakshmi's would say, 'We will also go.' Usha would say, 'You have to lift the heavy weight, you can't.'

...

While studying in class 9, one day Lakshmi came to Dera from school. Some stranger came to the camp. Baama introduced them as Mama and Maiju. She looked into Mama's face, very motherly. Mummy used to take us when we were little. My grandfather left the house because of my mother and started living outside. After being insulted by her grandmother, mummy left the house,'' Lakshmi narrates. The mother's maternal grandmother was angry because of the interracial relationship with the mother's father. So Lakshmi never knew about Mamaghar. 

Usha's sister is a doctor. She lives in Australia. When Maiju entered the maternal house after her younger uncle got married, at first she was told that she had only one daughter. After Maiju got married, he said only one sister at first. Later it is known that there is another sister too. Then Maiju started making inquiries,” Lakshmi narrates. Now Lakshmi is close to younger Maiju.

Lakshmi had started working in theatre. One day when he reached home, a tall man wearing a dhaka cap was sitting talking to Ba. He is Lakshmi's maternal grandfather. After that, Grandpa used to go to the Dera every Dasain to get vaccinated. He had started to love his grandfather. However, Grandfather, who went to apply the tika on one Dasain, could not reach the camp. He was hit by a car in Balaju. Never came back after that.

...

Where did Lakshmi's hunger for acting come from? She gives credit to her mother. That hunger is not only in Lakshmi, but also in the mother. I also want to be an artist. You have played a teleserial,' Lakshmi narrates. Once in the shooting of the film 'Sunder Mero Naam', Usha went for the chorus. He also takes Lakshmi with him. I was surprised to see Garima Pant Didi's charm in the film. I was also hungry to become an artist,' she says. 

Lakshmi used to play drama when she was in school. While studying in class 12, he got an offer for the film 'Mala'. She couldn't decide. It was Usha who suggested her daughter to do the film. Then Lakshmi woke up to learn drama. But Baa Naveen was against it. Not even one percent believes that a person who is struggling will succeed. That's why daddy didn't let him go,' says Lakshmi.

Mandala Theater was in Anamnagar at that time. Lakshmi wanted to learn drama there. Usha lied that her daughter had a job in Anamnagar and sent her away. Later, those who came to see the first play expressed their displeasure and refused to allow the play. Lakshmi walked even after leaving the house. At that time, the mother said in a sad way, 'Doesn't the daughter do anything, doesn't even know what her dreams are?' After working in the

drama 'Matha Panchar', actors Dayahang Rai and Rajan Khatiwada once reminded her, 'Your daughter's future in the drama is very good. She is good at acting. Tomorrow you will be able to boast that I am Lakshmi Bardeva's father.'He never stopped hearing his daughter's compliments and became excited. Now Lakshmi's father has pasted the daughter's blow-up photo printed in Kantipur weekly in the shop. People ask, 'Are you her fan?' Naveen proudly says, 'She's my daughter.' Then they also say she's their favorite actress. Baa bursts with joy.

...

Usha's mother finds Lakshmi generous. Listening to daughters, appreciating their feelings. He is open-minded towards my friends. It is because of mummy that the family was able to take a boy friend home. Understand the value of a friend very well,' says Lakshmi. Mother was happiest when she was in a relationship with actor Jeevan Bhattarai (current husband). Later Lakshmi started living with Jeevan. The idol situation in the house was increasing more and more. Lakshmi was weak in that situation. I couldn't even focus on work. I used to go anywhere on a scooter, I used to fight,” says Lakshmi.

The family was also addicted to the habit of playing Tas. The coldness between the two was increasing when they did not understand the pain of the mother, and the sacrifices made by the mother. The mother wanted the son to correct his weakness. But he never did what his mother wanted. After a while, the mother gave up on the relationship. It's been 8 years since my father's divorce. Ba married another. Mother is now in Cyprus. Both father and mother are living life in their own rhythm. 

...

Lakshmi has not been hugged by her mother till date. Neither mother Lakshmi. For her mother, she has long cherished, 'Hug.' When her mother came from the previous shift, Lakshmi left the house thinking, 'I will hug my mother.' And she forgot to hug. Lakshmi feels, 'Ankmaal is warm love, companionship.' She gave Ankmaal assuring that I am there when Ba was in a weak state of mind. Ba was crying at that time. After that he felt lighter.