It has been nine years since I started to pay my household expenses by doing painting. Now I am 51 years old. My village is Sudap in Tehrathum district. Now Sankhu Kageshwari is residing in Manhara-1. I have two sons. The elder son also paints like me. He also helps with household expenses when he says he has no money.

I bought a land in Sankhu with the money I earned from suffering in Malaysia for 18 years . We have built a hut there as a family. When I started getting old, I came to Nepal to stay in the country and do something. He had the skill to paint by hand . Whether someone's color is a lost house or a new house - I have tried to bring happiness to my leaky tent by tickling them. 

I don't always get a job, when I get a job, I usually earn 1650 and sometimes 1200 a day. Since the house is far away, it is not possible to come and go every day. As the cost is high, I ask for a room until the work is done at the painting place. Even when I don't get a job, I don't stay at home, I drive. I save 1 thousand daily by paying oil expenses. It has not been confirmed that the household expenses will be this much per month, but it seems to be 15 to 20 thousand. Even if you earn by painting, even if you earn by shipping, you will be happy if you can avoid monthly expenses. 

It seems that life is always a struggle. It was going smoothly. Two years ago, I sent my younger son abroad (Dubai) in search of a loan. In one year, he had paid off his loan. However, suddenly the company sent him back to Nepal saying that he was depressed. When I came to Nepal, I set fire to the same temple that I had sweated in the bay. All the clothes inside the house were burnt. I dreamed of building a concrete house after my son earned from abroad. However, the son also set fire to one of the same towers. At that time, my heart was crying a lot . Until that time, my wife also helped to collect household expenses by washing clothes in other people's houses, cleaning the house. Peer is now sitting at home looking at her grandson wondering what her son will do again. The burden is all on me.

I spent half my life sweating in another country, now I had to see such a situation where I was supposed to relax and live in my own country . If I move my arms, the stove burns at home, otherwise there is a problem of what to eat. If it doesn't work, the stove won't light . 

When I was listening to the song, I used to say 'Soon Saili Saili Padeshbatan Ma Aoonla, Sun Saili Saili Chalis Katesi Ramaonla'. Where will life be like the song played on the mobile phone and the story of the movie watched on TV? Our days of rejoicing will not come. After working, the food expenses come on the same day . To be happy for forty years, you need to have enough wealth to live comfortably. Life does not go on without working until the hands and arms move. Poor people like us sometimes think how amazing the game life plays. 

sometimes plays in mind . I am afraid - if my hands don't work or if I get seriously ill, there is no pension, no allowance, and no ancestral wealth . I think there is no other option but to starve my family . I also pray that nothing happens by the grace of God . I will grieve as long as my hands can move, I will tell my heart that this is my destiny.

I decorate other people's houses and make them colorful as they say. My house is running from that, I am happy about this but it hurts my heart to see water leaking in my house . Sometimes it feels like painting your own house.

I have a great desire to make my house sloped . Now I got a job to paint a house . I am thinking of taking my youngest son to India for treatment with the money from there. May the son recover, may he stand on his own feet, may there be peace in the house . Nothing much, that's all I want.