Sabina, who has spoken openly about Balendra Shah's personal life, says, ”Balen's greatest strength is his service, not his money.”
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The success of the person who holds the highest executive responsibility of the country is not limited to his personal ability and leadership. There is also someone special behind it. Beyond the public image of Prime Minister Balendra (Balen) Shah, Sabina Kafle is the foundation of his constant support, suggestions and confidence in his journey.
Public health professional, writer, social activist Sabina prefers to introduce herself as a responsible citizen with an independent identity than the Prime Minister's wife. From the struggling journey from a middle-class family in the east to the capital to the identity of the Prime Minister's wife, she has never lost her simplicity, service spirit and social commitment. Speaking openly about Prime Minister Shah's determination, leadership and rare aspects of his personal life, Sabina has shared her views on love, family, politics and more.
Sabina was born in Urlabari, Morang, to a middle-class family. Sabina is the eldest of the two children of Jhamak Bahadur Kafle and Durgadevi Adhikari, and has one brother. She was 11 years old when the family moved to Kathmandu. She then completed her schooling and Plus Two studies at VS Niketan. ‘That’s where I first met Balen,’ she recalled excitedly.
Grandfather Dilli Bahadur Kafle believed in religious activities. Grandmother Bhuwandevi was a great keeper. They would prepare for the puja, and Sabina would be responsible for picking flowers. ‘I would be happy to go to the flower garden with a basket,’ Sabina recalls those childhood days.
Father was at work. Mother, on the other hand, mostly stayed at her maternal uncle’s house while raising her brother. Thus, her childhood was spent with her grandparents. ‘The foundation that we were born on this earth to do something for others was strengthened from there. I would even tell people walking on the road to go and have a drink at our house,’ she says. ‘Even now, many people say that this is not the kind of child who would go and have a drink at our house when they go to the village.’
She can only feel the love and affection of her grandparents today. When she thinks back to the first 10 years of her life, they are the ones who come first.
Sabina’s family moved to Kathmandu in 2058 BS. Crowds and noise of people were everywhere. Sabina found Kathmandu very crowded and scary. She had only seen such crowds in the village during the weekly fairs or at the market.
Initially, they started living in Baneshwor by renting a tent.
After completing her schooling and Plus Two from VS Niketan, Sabina started studying Public Health at Nobel. That same study made it easy for her to work with organizations working in reproductive health. Since she was also interested in writing, she also worked as a writer.
Her novel ‘Deepalata’, which is active in writing under the name Deepalata, has been published. ‘Creation is born out of lack and pain.’ Since I am creative and can also write, I worked as a communication specialist for some time. Then I got the opportunity to showcase my skills as a creative assistant at ANS Creations and as a creative head at Sagar Group,’ she says. ‘I also worked as an MC and RJ.’ She used to work a 10-5 job. There was no dissatisfaction. That was what made her happy.
What kind of a woman is Balen?
Balen and she were last benchers when they were in Plus Two at VS Niketan. She is still thrilled to remember those days. At that time, those who rode bikes and scooties were considered dangerous. They would go out in groups of friends on their vehicles.
‘We became good friends. After completing Plus Two, Balen proposed to me in my first year of bachelor’s,’ said Savina. ‘I accepted the proposal without looking back. Since they are an open-minded, educated family, we started hanging out at home.’ According to her, the marriage was conducted according to the cultures of both sides.
Many were surprised when Balen suddenly declared his candidacy for the post of mayor of Kathmandu Metropolitan City. But, Savina says, ‘He had been preparing for this for many years.’
Why did Balen, who is making a good career in engineering and earning attention through rap, choose politics?
‘There is a reason behind this,’ says Savina, ‘By nature, he is a person who wants to serve. If he only wanted to earn money, there were opportunities for him.’ Balen used to raise issues of social and political distortions and anomalies through rap. Savina believes that this helped him move forward on his political journey.
‘Before filing his candidacy for mayor, he moved forward after consulting me.’ There was a flood of reactions on social media, but with strong confidence in himself, everything will fall into place,’ she says, ‘Although many things have changed after becoming mayor, we and our nature have not changed.’
Many had said that your personal life is over. But even now, Savina said that time management has made it easier to connect with family and society. ‘He never interferes with my professional work and responsibilities and I never interfere with his. In household matters, my decision is always and in everything,’ she says.
Savina says that she was in a hurry to resign from the mayor’s post and contest the parliamentary elections. ‘At first, it was like the mayor would not leave the quarters, but suddenly at night he called, ‘Here you go! Vacate the quarters,’ how did it feel at that time,’ she says, ‘We hardly met for about two months after that. He stayed in Jhapa for a week, I for 40 days.’
Those 40 days gave her 40 years of knowledge and experience. ‘Even when I went to the village and greeted him, some people would not return his greetings. Even though I had to hear various reactions, I took it easy,’ she says, ‘Even when he was mayor, I was still helping him digitally from behind the scenes. More than that, I got the opportunity to learn a lot during the Prime Minister’s election campaign, which also developed my personality.’
Balen is commonly accused of not speaking much. Not only that, but he avoids speaking even when he needs to speak. According to Savina, he is very straightforward and outspoken. ‘He is also a simple person who does not need money. He has a solitary and calm nature that enjoys a simple life and high thoughts,’ she says.
Savina does not understand that many people call Balen mysterious, arrogant, and monotonous. In fact, she understands more than that. ‘All the images that have been created outside are completely wrong,’ she says, ‘People have their own nature. Some like to talk, some like to stay quiet. He is a very good listener, that’s why I like him a lot.’
She compares Balen to Aamir Khan’s character in ‘3 Idiots’. ‘He is not an ordinary person, he is older and mature than his age, has a visionary, confident and service-oriented personality,’ she further revealed, ‘Even though he speaks less, he is the one who adds excitement to the party mood in the family. After coming from the office, he likes to watch movies, play games, and spend time with me and my daughter.’
When asked if she is being criticized for not giving her time to answer even after being the Prime Minister, Sabina said, ‘There must be some reason behind not speaking.’ There is a separate team above the family, in which it would be better if I did not interfere.' She said that she was humbled by Balen's determination and commitment. She also feels that communication and dialogue should be increased as she is a bit more reclusive. Another important thing is that she has good ability in creative writing. Sabina feels that she should write more. Her political understanding is also being refined. She said that such a change has taken place in Nepal due to the strength of the youth and that they are not only interested in politics but have also started becoming active. With the departure of old parties and leaders, a new politics has begun in Nepal. She says that the time has come for the party to support and motivate the youth in leadership, while the old leaders remain in the role of advisors. 'The youth are capable of this and have reached the stage of preparation,' she says.
She says that economic self-reliance is the key to change in Nepali women. ‘Education alone is not enough, the biggest thing is economic self-reliance,’ she says, ‘It makes women strong, capable and decisive.’
She says that women have immense power and potential, so it should be recognized as soon as possible. ‘Let’s make our sons and daughters walk equally from a young age. The most important thing is to live happily,’ she says.
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‘It would be good if the Prime Minister increased communication and dialogue a little’
Balen Prime Minister, but if it were not for your husband, what would your opinion of him be?
This is a very deep and complex question. I used to think a little more flexibly about the Prime Minister and would probably comment accordingly. 
What more can the Prime Minister do? As the Prime Minister, he should be successful in making good governance, zero tolerance for corruption and the development and prosperity of the country the main issues. Another thing, it would be good if the Prime Minister increased communication and dialogue a little.
What kind of support, advice, and suggestions would you give to Balen?
I do not like to interfere much in professional and political matters except for personal matters. While he has made me the decisive person in everything else except those. Although I am not very dominant in professional and political matters, I keep giving advice and suggestions from time to time.
(This article published in the Asar issue of ‘Nari’ magazine has been republished.)
