I don't know my exact age. I would have been around 64/65 years old. My ancestral home is in Palpa. I am currently living in MG Tole behind the stadium in Butwal. I had two sons. They left me. We didn't look after the elderly.

Mrs. Suntali is 57 years old. Suntali is also sick. She cannot always work. Sometimes we do it together. I have been collecting sand in the Tinau River all day long. After the sand is collected and cleaned, I put it in sacks and sell it. This is how we support the family of two.

My wife is asthmatic and cannot collect sand. So she collects firewood to cook in the morning and evening. If it gets too cold, my face also swells up. Still, if we don't work, the old and the young have to go hungry in the morning and evening. There is no place to live. There is a hut with an old tin roof and torn cement sacks. We have made the hut habitable by placing tin and sacks in the pile left by the river after it deepened.

Our world is like that hut. All day long, the old woman collects sand from the river and I put it in a sack and carry it to the road. The tractor owner and the contractor come and buy it. I sell 5 to 7 sacks a day. A sack costs 50 rupees. The contractor only pays 40 rupees. With the money I sell, I cook my evening and morning meals. Now rice is also becoming expensive. Sometimes I get sick. If I can't collect sand, the old woman won't have any money to eat. My wife has to give me asthma medicine. We both curse our own lives because we don't have money.

It's been 43 years since I came to Butwal from Rainadevi Chhahara in Palpa. We raised our two sons with hardship. One son has become a driver. The other has gone to India. Both of them didn't look at us after we got married. Now they don't even come to visit us. Earlier, we were living in squatters' land. The eldest son Ramesh removed us. Then we came to the stadium and stayed in the waiting room for two months. Later, I started looking for tin and bringing it, and the old woman dug in a pole and started living there. It has been 13 years since we started living like this. The police from the municipality come and tell us to leave. Where will we go from that place? Instead, we say, "Take us," and they go.

I pick up sand from 11 am. Earlier, there was a lot of sand. Now it is difficult to deliver 5 bags a day. Sometimes it is 500 a day. Otherwise, it is only 3/400. With that money, I buy one maana of rice. We buy some vegetables, salt, turmeric, spices and cook them. Sometimes the boys come and take away the remaining money. We old and old can't do anything. Every day, if we have 300 rupees, we can run the household expenses. When the boys start taking away the money, I give the remaining money to Sita, who has a hotel nearby. So far, it has reached 6 thousand. When I get sick, I give it to the doctor and save it to buy the old woman's asthma medicine. I worry about the old woman more than myself. She used to worry more than me.

Last year, a hotel owner picked up 50 bags of sand in this way. He said he would give the money tomorrow. But, he hasn't given it yet. He said there is a breakfast hotel at Shantichowk near Magarghat. I went to look for it and found it. I still feel sad that I haven't given the money for the 50 bags of sand. Now we might not know where to go to look for it. Now we can't do anything else. We'll just sell sand and eat it. I wish I didn't have to suffer when I died.