A few months ago, Muwa's father, sister and I were preparing for dinner. Two days ago, I had started menstruating. While the food was being served, Muwa started grumbling, 'I say it's time to stop, but no one listens to me. After marriage, they become gods.' 

My father said, 'Don't keep saying such things to your daughters, because if they complain, they will file a case, and the police will come to take them away.' 

There is often a debate in our house about stopping menstruation. Such things come up more during festivals or when relatives come to our house. Even if I don't talk about it now, it doesn't mean that I have never stopped menstruating. Many people are talking/writing about the Chhaupadi of the Far West. Many of us who have migrated from Achham to Surkhet ask, 'Is there a Chhaupadi there?' 

Born and raised in Achham, I know Chhaupadi very well. I have spent more than 3 years in the Chhaugoth after giving my 8th grade exams and menstruating. I have spent dark nights in an unsafe Chhaugoth far from home. When I remember that time, I feel that my mind was very weak. How did I manage to survive? It is amazing. The many insects, snakes and sometimes the guests who came to the Chhaugoth after knowing that I was sleeping in the Chhaugoth... 

The people who were making noise would not come near me. Those who were close would look at me with the eyes of sisters and those who were far away would be scared. Being mentally weak is the weakest. Even now, those days make me feel like I am alive and dead. 

It was only after being forced to stay in the dark Chhaugoth every week of the month that I, who was always the first in class, started coming second. Not only because I had to stay in the Chhaugoth, but also because I did not know what to do during my period, I still have problems during my period. At that time, the dhoti patch worn by the women had to be used to manage the menstrual blood. Perhaps because I was young, the patch fell off many times while walking. The same patch was used all day long. And the patch could never be dried in the sun - it was considered shameful, so I would hide it under other clothes and dry it. 

My teacher father and mother, who studied 12th grade, could not keep me at home during my period. This was the rule of society, so they sent me to the cowshed as usual. My father tried hard to say, 'You should not live in the cowshed'. However, he was not affected by the strict rules of the family and society. 

Most foods could not be eaten during menstruation. Green plants could not even be touched. Many sisters in the village were forced to marry against their will during menstruation, which always left them feeling unsafe. Electricity has not reached my village yet. Women have not stopped living in dark sheds. I see and hear that programs to demolish the chhaugoth have been ended. However, I am not aware of any such program in our village. There are not many such programs in my village, and even if there were, no one would accept it.

Even in such a situation, it makes me sad to see and hear that my sisters from Dhakari, where I was born, and Dhakari's neighboring Turmakhad Rural Municipality, under Achham area number 2, have to live in sheds. This situation is also the case in other municipalities in Achham. Various programs that are being carried out to eliminate the Chhaugoth practice seem futile. For how long will women in rural areas have to sleep in unsafe sheds?

The Chhaugoth practice, which should be eradicated, still exists in my village. Women stay in the chhaugoth during menstruation. Some spend the night in the corner of the shed used to tie up buffaloes and cows under the house, while others spend 5 to 7 days in a suffocating shed built in the fields far from their homes. It is customary for the daughter of the house to wear the chhaupadi for 6 or 7 days and the daughter-in-law for 5 or 6 days. The period of wearing the chhaupadi varies according to the rules of the family and the village. 

When I read, hear, and see the ‘content’ written, said, and shown about the chhaupadi practice of Achham, I worry about the sheds in my village. The fact that the sheds I have lived in for years are being repaired and women are living in them again makes my heart ache. And when I remember what I have lived through, I sigh.

Women in the village are still living in the sheds in an unsafe manner. However, no one is serious about this issue. Because living in the chhaupadi shed is an important issue for ‘preserving culture/sacrifice’ in the village. This is not an awkward or new issue for anyone. Everyone from the village representatives to the employees wear the chhaupadi. ​​The employees wear it in a somewhat safer way – they live in a clean room in the house. Everyone else’s place of residence is the same – the shed.

After migrating from Achham to Surkhet, I have not been concerned about menstruation with the support of my father. I am happy that my sister does not have to do it either. However, it makes me sad to hear that many girls in my village are unsafe.

Living in Birendranagar, the capital of Karnali Province, I feel that Chhaupadi is everywhere, only the form has changed. From journalists who write news on this issue to activists who say menstruation should not be done, they have their own way of dealing with it. No one says that menstruation should not be done in any way. From those who work as ‘focus persons’ on menstruation to those who work as dignified ambassadors of menstruation, I see menstruation in one way or another.