On one hand, the 16-day campaign against gender-based violence is underway, on the other hand, since the beginning of Mangsir, there has been a surge in people donating daughters in the name of marriage rituals. What an irony! Joypoi is needed to keep the world running, but what about taking and giving daughters as a gift in the matter of marriage?

As long as parents and the entire society continue to say 'Tathastu' to their daughters after drinking water from their feet saying 'Paale Punya Mare Paap', gender violence will continue to be supported. Dear daughters! We should get married at the right time, but it is necessary to rise above the idea that we must go to our husband's house after marriage. Now, as per the need, we should create a mentality and practicality that sometimes we go to the husband's house and sometimes to the wife's house, that is, 'father-mother, son-daughter-in-law, daughter-son-in-law, grandchildren on both sides are all members of the family with equal status'.

I recently went to attend a wedding program. During the Swayambhar, the bride gave the groom a garland of green and fresh dubo from a good stall. On the other hand, the groom gave the garland he was wearing around his neck (which was in a state of being dry and dubo or something else, and was unrecognizable) to the same bride. The issue of reform should start from here. Either both of them should exchange the garlands they wore at the beginning or the groom should also give the bride a new garland. The issue is not controversial, it is a small one. However, for equality, it is necessary to change such things.

Similarly, the tradition of hiding shoes during marriage is not good. The bad practice of hiding the shoes of the bride's sister-in-law, partly for fun and partly out of greed for money, is widespread, due to which proverbs that are aimed at violence against women like 'you don't have to cook gunduk, you don't have to cheat your sister-in-law' are in vogue. Dear daughters! Understand this issue - 'No one gives anything for free, if you try to give, think, he is looking for an opportunity to violence yourself.' Therefore, if you do not covet anything from others and become competent in all matters, no one can dare to commit violence. Here, the work of suppressing a daughter starts from her own home. When will our society, where a daughter lives independently and freely in her own home, digest it? How much longer will we have to wait for the family and relatives to be happy with the happiness of a daughter? When will the mind be formed that says, 'The value of the family's honor is not small' that a daughter saves by killing herself every moment?

Our society's thoughts, ideas, thoughts, styles, customs and culture are all male-friendly. With the development of technology, misogynistic thoughts, ideas and behaviors should improve, but they have not. More diversity has been added to the forms of violence. Violence is a multidimensional issue. There should be a comprehensive study and analysis of violence from all dimensions, including economic, social, political, administrative, technical, environmental. Today, we in the 21st century have played with technology in our hands, but we have not been able to take positive energy from it and empower our mentality. Investing in your own potential is the best investment. There is never a loss in it. We have not yet understood that the love you give yourself never hurts.

The state of impunity persists in society. In our society, whoever has money is justified in whatever he does, and whoever is weak is forced to endure violence without fault. A moral person who works is not considered a good person in our society. The social value of corrupt people who accumulate money without working hard is high, which has created a situation where the perpetrator remains a 'boss' and the victim continues to suffer violence for no reason and remains socially excluded. When will we develop the idea of ​​zero tolerance against the perpetrator? In the name of marriage rituals, should we still hand over our daughters to bad people who are from good families, have a lot of wealth, and are worth eating?

A special request to parents who give birth to daughters – give your daughter the same love, opportunity, access, and investment as your son so that she becomes capable, self-reliant, healthy, and also has the skills to earn money. And rest assured – you don’t have to look for a son-in-law. After feeling the need, the daughter herself will look for a son-in-law who suits her. After making her daughter capable in all subjects, no one will violence against her. Here, violence has taken an extreme form due to the bad practice of making the daughter weak and looking for a strong son-in-law at all times.

To reduce violence, it is first necessary to treat children equally from every home. Equal opportunities and access should be provided to both. Both moral conduct and moral education should be taught. The schooling that is happening in our society now, such as 'You are a girl - so speak softly, walk softly, work a lot, don't go out in the evening, don't turn your back on anyone no matter what they say', is mental violence against girls. Saying that equal partners in creation 'one is born strong and the other weak' is nothing more than a weakness in our mentality.

Let's think a little seriously - how weak our thinking is when it comes to looking at women, thinking about women, and behaving towards women! We have not been able to accept women as human beings. They are ignored in every aspect. Our society does not even tolerate her smiling, standing on her feet wearing nice clothes, or eating sweets. How long will this excess last? Isn't it the height of injustice to say that a son who rapes is good, a man of society, and a daughter who is raped will save her family's honor and 'keep quiet'?

Now all women need to fight their own inner weaknesses. Time, effort, and money must be invested - every woman should learn to enhance her human value. Let's learn hygiene, yoga, and meditation to maintain good physical and mental health. Let's not use expensive cosmetics to look good. Let's eat healthy food. Let's fill our brains with positive energy and self-confidence. Let's learn to love ourselves. Let's not get jealous of others, gossip, show off, cut things off, and drag our feet. This makes us weak. Let's spend time making ourselves comfortable and increasing our human value. To do good, we should not worry about 'what others will say?' Let's not be unjust to ourselves by getting lost in the weak mindset of 'What will society say?'. Let's put ourselves at the center of every matter.

I have a friend. She had a house in her own name. Daily conflicts with her husband put a break in her twenty-four-year marriage. When she got divorced, she gave the house in her children's name. Alas! The name of the man she divorced to save her life, including three generations of men, was written in the land ownership certificate, but her name was erased. However, later, when her divorced husband took another wife within a few months and started hurting her children again, the children gave the house back to their friend's name. This is just a representative incident. What I mean here is that just as the names of both the mother and father are in the current citizenship certificate, the names of both the father and mother should be mandatory in all other documents, including land ownership certificates, certificates from schools and universities. This is the starting point for reducing discrimination.