There are many different identities that people adopt. Identities are formed based on gender, age, race, ethnicity, physical ability, religion, class, and sexuality.

Self-identity is the consciousness that a person feels about ‘who I am’. Humans are the only creatures that feel themselves with their consciousness.

Other animals are also named by humans – dogs, tigers, cats, foxes, lions, elephants, etc. They probably do not have the consciousness that ‘they should have a self-identity in their habitat’. However, animals also live in their own herds.

Different characteristics, interests, skills, strengths and areas that need improvement form a personality or self-identity. Experiences, beliefs, values ​​and goals are the main elements of self-identity. Social and cultural factors also have a direct impact on self-identity. How do we see ourselves? What is our concept of life is also mixed with self-identity. In a male-dominated society like ours, it is very difficult for women to create a self-identity in human life.

The identity of a woman as we understand it is to stay in a low profile. In other words, being cultured, not speaking rudely, obeying what is said, being tolerant, being a family caregiver, etc. It is said that, ‘Being a woman, you should be like so-and-so’, giving the example of someone who has endured many obstacles and setbacks and maintained the dignity of the home. Why shouldn’t that role model suffer from depression while enduring it?

It is not at all difficult to be the knowledgeable, kind, honest, and moral person that society wants. When you fail at some point while playing the role given by society, no one from society may come to pick you up. Many of us have experienced such a life. We women have become unsuccessful travelers without being able to form a self-identity.

When women who have developed the awareness that ‘educated, literate, and self-reliant women are equal to men’ start protesting against the discrimination and neglect of themselves or the female community, our society does not accept that. Women are then equipped with metaphors like ‘I would have tolerated it if I had been a woman’, ‘I should have spoken more’, ‘I am a girl’.

Recently, we feel that the famous young singer Alina Chauhan ‘said things that hurt her’ – she is a nag, a snob. We feel this way because the impression that ‘women should not speak’ is ingrained in our minds. When we speak about a subject that we feel uncomfortable with, we do not take that ‘speaking habit’ positively and instead discourage it. Perhaps it is because of our ambivalent behavior that many girls and women who are suffering physically and mentally do not bring their problems out and instead take their own lives! We do not analyze whether someone has spoken out about the aspects that need improvement in society and pointed out that. However, we point fingers at the woman who speaks, saying that she is ‘unbearable’ and ‘lacks discipline’.

Even if someone says wrong and intentionally unwanted things, it is wrong. However, there are many cases where women do not speak out 'too much'. At least when those who speak out raise their voices against wrongdoing, we tend to criticize negatively instead of supporting them. This also hurts women's self-identity.

A person has put in a lot of effort and struggle to build a self-identity. Our mothers have also taken their lives to a certain point by working day and night, not to mention taking care of their children and husbands, along with housework. They also feel that 'their contribution should be appreciated by their family members'. Our mothers have built their self-identity only through the language of self-esteem. Internal interaction, social interaction, and the churning of thoughts, feelings, and experiences are also part of self-identity. However, social, external influences, and cultural structures play a big role in women's self-identity.

When a woman divorces her husband and gets ready to live a struggling life with her children, her friends, relatives, neighbors, and other family members from the same society keep telling her – ‘She couldn’t make a living, she was too ambitious, or she was quarrelsome.’ We don’t think that equipping a woman with such turbans is insulting her. A group of men are trying to exploit a woman who is struggling alone. Such activities continue even through social media. Those who leave toxic or incompatible relationships and move forward saying ‘I want to live an independent and peaceful life’ become the ones who share all the blame as soon as they become single. What will become of the self-identity that she wants to create?

Now let’s talk about the self-identity of a conscious but lower-class woman. A woman lives in a dormitory with her family. She has to keep moving in the course of her work. However, since she is not a permanent resident of any particular place, her creations have no introduction or identity. Many of us have experienced the issue of women losing their self-identity even without their own permanent home and permanent address. In particular, if women accept the prevailing values ​​and norms and remain in the status quo, some may feel that ‘society is fine’. However, a dynamic society cannot remain happy with the status quo.

As women also begin to develop self-awareness, self-concept, and self-respect, questions such as what is their identity in society and what is their identity build a home in their minds. Not feeling ‘home’ until they build their own separate home with their own earnings, feeling like they are chained by the many rules and regulations of society, and wanting to experience freedom, equality, and justice are all indicators of women’s self-identity.

In fact, some men can be seen addressing and teasing Sushila Karki, who has already held a distinguished position like the Chief Justice and is currently holding the responsibility of the country’s Prime Minister. From this, we can also say and feel – what is the society’s view of women when it comes to self-identification!

Women’s rights activist Mary Bolstonecraft has a saying – I don’t want women to have power over men, but women must have power over themselves. Indian influencer and mentor Vikas Divyakriti was saying in a video, ‘It is as difficult to be a woman in this world as it is to be a man. Men don’t have to endure the pain of menstruation, don’t have to carry a child in their womb for nine months, don’t have to breastfeed and raise a child with care. Moreover, if the child does not follow the right path, they don’t have to endure the abuse that the mother does.’ He adds, ‘Men who are spared from many responsibilities just because of the Y-chromosome should at least have equality towards women.’