Digital abuse targeting women is more visible on social media. In the second session of the sixth edition of 'Nirbhik Nari', a discussion titled 'Price of Being Visible' discussed the need to resort to legal recourse to combat such abuse on social media.

Young activist Amisa Parajuli was abused for her protest speech against the arrest of former Prime Minister KP Sharma Oli in Chaitra last year. When trolls and mentions increased on social media over her statement, she thought that this abuse would subside in 2-4 days. However, it did not go as she expected.

The series of abuses started increasing. As this series repeated, she resorted to legal remedies. Amisa says that only after facing unbearable harassment does the victim resort to legal action. 'If someone reaches out to the state and the law to seek justice, that person reaches out because he is truly unable to bear the harassment.' If it were bearable, it would have been easier to cry at home, to go there and say, "Give me justice, reduce my pain," she said.

Many people also asked her why she kept going to the law when the justice process was long. However, Amisa said that even after losing everywhere, she did not get sympathy even in the court. She emphasized that when someone is abused and reaches the legal process, they should understand the sensitivity of the case and provide justice. "When you are a victim, you hope that you will at least get sympathy. I thought people would understand. At that time, sympathy was very important. Is it because the state has failed to understand the victim," Amisa said. "When someone is abused, they initially want to talk to someone who understands them." If any victim has come to seek justice, the state should also explain the process to them so that justice can be given in this way.' 

This society always tries to be a judge for women  

Artist Rekha Thapa says that even though criticism during the time when social media was less used helped in improving, current criticism is turning into abuse. 'Back then, there was criticism, and that criticism gave you an opportunity to improve yourself,' Rekha said, 'In the current situation, this society is afraid of a woman's freedom. A woman expresses herself confidently. If she reaches leadership, she seems fearless, this society is very afraid of her. Those who are afraid are abusing that woman's 7 generations on social media.'

Rekha says that people with a deranged mentality have started abusing social media in this way. Rekha says that the kind of attack Amisa endured as soon as she raised her voice against her opposition has created an unhealthy society. ‘This society always tries to become a judge for women. This society is afraid of women’s progress and advancement. Why? For years, there has been an illusion that women should live under the blanket of old thinking,’ Rekha said, ‘I gave no political argument. I did not speak in favor, I spoke against. When I put my own voice and point of view, that woman is exposed.’

Rekha also expressed her opinion on the truth that even if a man does injustice to a woman, the man is always innocent, but the woman is the one who suffers. ‘I was able to criticize and warn in the life of a public figure. But, no one has the right to be the judge of his life. And we do not give that right either,’ Rekha said. Rekha argues that even though the laws made for women are good, their implementation is still not strong.

Abuse against women due to social structure

Sociologist Samjhana Wagle Bhattarai says that women are being abused because of our social structure. She said that women have to endure this kind of abuse because of the training, learning, values ​​and norms given to us.

‘It starts at home.’ There have been some changes in the present times. But, we have not reached the point where change is needed. There is a difference in teaching daughters and sons at home. We say that we have taught sons and daughters to treat each other equally. But, what role are mothers and fathers playing at home? Our children learn by watching how fathers and mothers play their roles at home.

Since the patriarchal structure has placed men in the place of power and decision-making, she recalls that when women reach that place, they are also abused. ‘Men are always in the decision-making position and power. Now, if a woman goes there, that man is afraid that a woman will take our place.’ When women intervene, it is said that power will also be shared. That fear also leads to attacks on women,’ says sociologist Bhattarai.

Bhattarai said that because our society always puts women under question, men are not asked such questions when they make mistakes. ‘Daughters should protect the honor of the home, society, family and country. Men should not be questioned when their sons make mistakes,’ she said.

According to Bhattarai, ‘visible’ women have also been abused because they have broken the rules set by the social structure. ‘Visible women have become visible because they have gone beyond the rules set by society.’ That is why those women are abused. Abuse on social media is not only in Nepal, women from America to Europe are also victims of abuse,' she said.

Even though people on social media are moving towards chaos, Bhattarai says that the law is a strong basis to fight abuse. 'What kind of men are going viral on social media now? Who use words that we can't even hear. Using words that are considered vulgar is polluting social media. Therefore, they should be brought under the purview of the law,' Bhattarai said. 'If someone attacks on social media, they should be brought under the purview of the law and fought.'

Dr. Raman Koirala, a psychiatrist at Hams Hospital, believes that abused women should talk to a trusted person to fight the abuse they have suffered and distance themselves from the perpetrator. Only then, he argues, can abused women rise up in society again. 'Someone starts fighting against the abuser.' Some are doubting themselves. Some become victims of mental problems while questioning themselves. They have to move towards anxiety and depression. It takes a long time to get up from that and move forward,' he said, 'That is why after such an activity, if you talk to those you trust as much as possible, stay away from those who misbehave, and protect yourself, you can improve your mental health.'