Dear Pemu!I got the letter on time this time and I also got the advice by letter, thank you very much for both! And thank you very much for Barbara's story! What a good story.

This time, I just thanked you and kept quiet, but if we meet one day, let me tell you that I will give you sweets! 

It's still raining. So my mind is not focused on writing letters. I can't do anything without mood, I try to write one thing, another thing touches me. The rain is falling slowly. You haven't seen my room, it's at the very top and I can see far and wide. While writing this letter, I am looking from the window towards Swayambhu Bhagwan's hill. You went there with Shantis, didn't I? And you don't want to go when we go to Anandakuti? So we both never got there. Looking at Swayambhu hill from the window, I remember all this. It looks a little blurry because it's raining. 

This is how I always remember you sitting at the window looking at the distant view. Your love comes to me at that time. I want to leave everything and come to you, to have a pleasant conversation at once. But, the situation does not allow me to do that and I am forced, I get angry with myself, all the colorful feelings inside me are shattered, the whole environment is poisoned. I may not get rid of this disease for the rest of my life.

I have cried a lot here. But I know... even if we can't be together, the love between us will never die. No power in the world can separate the union of our hearts. Even though we are far away, we meet every day, every morning, every evening and every night. ... even for a moment ... we can't hang on each other, then our love dies where? Who can separate our love? We may not meet in front of the world, but we have kept the marriage of our souls on the holy edge of our nails, didn't we?'

I read your sentences written on the previous page again and again and I think, if that is the case, will we really live like this for the rest of our lives? I'm really confused about our life. Pemu! What should I say, how should I respond to the sentences of your feelings. You tell me what I should do, what answer I should give.

On the one hand I want to keep my parents happy, I don't remind them at all but I am at a loss. You are on the other side, how can I remind you. You have more tobacco than my parents. I am totally shocked by the sacrifice and patience you wrote for them today. I fight at home because of you and I get such a response from you that I become irresponsible. I have no answer for your great ideals. They may have said good things for their son's well-being at home as well.

Parents' love, affection and love for their children! And for the good of their son, they always think and act well! And you! how great you are Your ideal is nothing less than that of Sita, Savitri and Damayanti. I am in the middle Pemu! In my life, I neither gave happiness at home, nor you. My parents and you are both fine, I've been a fool, I'm the only one who needs everything and I'm moving around. In the end I always fail, my life seems like a symbol of failure.

Whatever happened now, the mistake was mine. I know my weaknesses. The mistake will not be repeated by me. I don't ask for anything at home or any advice or help from you. From now on I am alone, I will leave the house soon, I will go somewhere in the village. I can't forget you, your memories, memories, memories, etc. will be with me, forever and ever. Yes, some days I feel unbearable, I feel pain, life is rough or in short... some days I find it hard to live. It's okay with you, you can live in my memory too. I am weak, where is the patience in me? Where is the courage in me?

Pemu! Everyone blames me, what do you say? For years I had been having colorful dreams. To fulfill my dream I was ready to leave everything with my parents, home, friends, I had all the strength to fight with any power but... But now I have given up on everything, I am disappointed, on everything, on myself. I don't understand why everyone doesn't know me or I don't know anyone. If you were in my place? I was in your place! I would have expressed my feelings in a practical way. Well, let's leave all these ruminations. Now I will write a little, I will not be bored!

Like you, a friend said that 'work as a teacher in the village'! Pemu! shall i go I will stay away from everyone. My songs don't sound new, that's all. What to do here?

Did you like 'Imraj'? Seeing the poor prince, do you feel love? I will not go to Putlisadakko, ever again. No... Sudha, who lives with me in the map, sent a mailman and I went, but your Vimala was not given. Returned after meeting with Sudha. After three-four days, Premadhwaj told me. I will not come when Vimala is not at home! Kamta did not get angry, Mukhsundi with Vimala. Maybe he was scared, seeing me. The reason was with Pemla too... Now let's start with Sudha too. Even if I didn't go, you wouldn't accept it either. How much to write

, there are many things to write. But... it happened.

that's yours!