'When I seek heaven, I see mother, When I seek God, I find Baba...'While listening to this song, you might be looking for the meaning of the song. You must be slurring words. However, singer Ramakrishna Dhakal did not just fill the voice of Indra Narayan Chongbang's words. They are also looking for the meaning of their own life. Shivprasad Dhakal, who had disappeared leaving seven-year-old child Ramakrishna, arrives at Jodin.

The life of Ramakrishna, who fills the melodious voice in simple music, seems simple and easy when we see it, but his life that we don't see is full of separation.

He was really able to tell his stories to his father . Bale used to get angry when teased . He used to feel that he had reached the peak when he wore the shoulder. 

Suddenly, Ba left the family and went nowhere. Ramakrishna only remembers his mother's struggle. He cannot forget his mother who is huddled in the corner and sighing.

Ramakrishna has everything today. But despite being everything, they experience it as if there is nothing. "I lost my father at a young age," he says in his father's memoirs, "when he was feeling his special love and education, he suddenly disappeared."

It's been 40/42 years since Bae left home . Whether he is alive or not, Ramakrishna does not even know that . But every day he is keeping the light of hope that he will come back from somewhere . "My father left home when I was young." Muma (mother) struggled a lot to search for him,' he says, 'even put out a notice on television but he was not found.' 

My father left home when I was young. Muma also put out a notice on television but he was not found  In the absence of his father, his childhood was spent in poverty . His father was not only missing, the place where he could express his grievances was lost along with his father . The field indicating the requirement was missing. Remembering the past, Ramakrishna said, 'After my father's responsibility was added to my mother, I used to live without much desire and desire.'

Time took its toll. Interested in singing since childhood, someone liked his songs and made him proficient in singing . After that, his life slowly began to catch rhythm . Even though Baka cannot remember many things, his face, behavior and some behavior are still fresh in Ramakrishna's memory . When a son is seen playing or walking with his father, he is remembered as sitting on the field and drinking water from the amkhora. Rame hears Ba's voice calling... ``He didn't have much time to play with his father like now. He used to spend a lot of time in the farm,' he says, 'The moments he used to work in the farm and called when he was young are still fresh today.' In the four decades that have been lost since the

, there is still hope in him . That's why he has not said goodbye to his father according to religious traditions. He has sung many songs related to mother and father. He thinks that he is sitting somewhere and listening to my voice!

Saroj waiting for Baa

Saroj KC is a character who lost his father at a young age like Ramakrishna. Actor and film producer KC was abandoned by his father at the age of 9. Now he is 35 years old. 

Saroj still remembers the quarrels at home when he was young  is . That is what made the parents separate . Not only mother and father were separated . He also lost his parentage . 'Parents got separated due to domestic quarrel. Mother left me with Gulmi . After that, the relationship with them was also lost," Saroj said, recalling the past, "It became very difficult to live in the village without parents.

For Saroj, who spent his childhood in the urban environment of Kathmandu, the village full of poverty became difficult. On top of that, his parents were not with him. He vaguely remembers that father came back a few days after his mother left him in the village. But he didn't get to spend that one night with his father . "That night, my father went with a 10-rupee note in his hand to read it well," said Suroj emotionally, "that was the last meeting with my father." He never came back after that.' 

Saroj has a great memory of his father . But he doesn't have that note . "I wouldn't have spent that ten rupees if I had known that my father would not come back," he says tiredly, "I have nothing in his memory today." He had lost a lot with Ba. He had no choice but to say 'yes' to whatever he asked. Lack in the village is the same for everyone. Grandfathers used to love even in the midst of poverty, but where would it be like if they had their own parents,' Saroj remembers those days, 'there was no place to say how much.' How many people have died like this . There was no place to eat. How much was needed, but from whom to ask?'

Saroj knew where his mother was even though his father had disappeared. After passing 9th grade, he came to Kathmandu to meet his mother. But the mother refused to recognize him . 

'I came to Kathmandu to meet my grandfather with the allowance money, hoping that I would meet my mother in the house where she was already working . But what is the basis for mother to say that you are my son ? The day I asked for proof, I felt as if the world had turned upside down,' said a shaken Saroj. He did that to me because he was afraid that there would be problems because he married someone else. I came to know now.' 

He dropped out of Batauli after completing 10th standard. After that, the lack of Ba began to bother him even more . When he had to sleep on the cold pavement in Batauli, he wanted to complain to his father but he did not listen. I left the village and went to Batauli with the desire to study in the city. How many nights have I spent on the pavement with a sack full of . At that time, I used to miss my father very much,' Saroj narrated, 'When I remember those days when I spent two/four days on a bread and full of tea, I feel like complaining about my father.'

He came to Kathmandu from Batauli and started paying rent at the hotel. Whether it was a moneylender shouting or a hotel customer shaking his head, he remembered his father every time. 

As much as the lack of Baa caused Saroj pain, it also taught him to be strong. Due to Ba's absence, he became independent from his childhood. Be it spending the night on the streets of Batauli or when the roof leaked in the roof during the summer, the experience made him strong. He has also included his experiences in the film 'Three Monkeys' written and acted by himself. 

Motherhood and lack of parentage made him hard. "I haven't been able to do anything." But it seems that I have become so much today because I grew up in poverty,' Saroj narrated, 'If I had been blessed with the love of my parents, I would probably not have become this much.' On June 31, there was news that 12 Maoist guerrillas were killed. 2 of them were Pratik Karki's parents .

He was 3 years old when his parents were killed. Pratik doesn't remember much about his parents. But she knows a lot about the lack of parenting . I was young. The news came that the parents were not there. "I don't remember everything because I am young," said Prateek, "but there are a lot of shortcomings caused by their absence."

After losing his parents, he spent his childhood with his grandmother. Later, he went to Diktel in Khotang to study with the help of his grandfather. There he saw and experienced many aspects of life - less light and more darkness.

Prateik remembers his own father even when someone walks holding hands with his father. "The pain of not being a parent is not only for me but for every child". But what he learns from that is also important,' he says. 

Prateik came to Kathmandu after studying up to class 10 in Diktel. The geography has changed, the pain has not changed. But with time he also learned lessons. As much as the pain was there when I was young, as I got older, it gradually decreased. "Alternatives will be sought," Prateek said. I feel like I've become hard.'

But at some point, where is the lack of ba? When he has to make a decision, he wonders how it would be if he had advice from his father. "No matter how far we go, our social structure and responsibility will continue to lack them," says Prateek. Pratik has been in the legal profession for 3 years.