Ganesh Rasik (2004-2082) is one such writer, who is loved by literary lovers as much as music connoisseurs. There is hardly any other author in Nepal who is equally liked by readers and listeners. Rasik, who was born in Bhojpur, was distributed towards Kathmandu and Elam, and finally settled on Kathmandu Khaldo.

Even though he reached far and wide, he never let the work of literature and music slow down. Constantly fingering both genres equally. Rasik had to suffer the untimely loss of not only his parents, but also his son and three brothers. He was somehow weighed down by a mountain of broken relationships. In his writing and singing, that pain can be felt at the same level as the height of the Bhojpure Temke hill and the murmur of the Pikhuwa river and the greenery of the Ilameli tea plantation. It is presented with the hope that it can be helpful to understand Rasik from a different angle, an edited part of the interview conducted by Paras Nepal a few months before his death:

What is life in the brother's experience so far?

Life is a dream. As long as a dream is seen, so long as it is lived, life lasts. The day a person stops dreaming, that day life ends. The behavior and experience of a person within a certain period of time, experiences, ups and downs, happiness, laughter, contribution to society - how many things are adverse to them - all life. We are driven by dreams. 

How much do you dream?

I keep dreaming. I think I can do some more work. I know I can't do anything right now, but I have dreams. I have started an organization — Ganesh Rasik Foundation. It has been awarding various individuals and organizations for three to four years. I have extracted the literary record of Koshi region from it. I want to do other things through that. I lived in Fikkal for almost 30 years.

I have an inner desire to build a theater and museum that can accommodate a hundred people, to keep all my awards and certificates of honor there, and to provide a room to keep such certificates of local artists. I don't know if I want to do that or not. It must be done while I live. Now, since the state and the center also support such work, there is no need for money, only two to four people are needed to make that vision and thinking come true.

Next, I like to write novels. Especially in these changing circumstances, one gap between the young and the old generation, the family gap. Like, we live in this house for three generations. I am a traditional type. A daughter-in-law has a kind of mundane life. The granddaughter is hanging on the mobile for 24 hours. Sometimes there is conflict between mother and daughter. Today's generation does not care about anyone but themselves. It doesn't matter what the relationship is. Even though I can't do this, I go to the place where someone invites me, but I see that this relationship will break after me. 

Two or three years ago I started writing literary essays, in which I put things about personal relationships. What is the

relationship? A

relationship is a way to balance life. Where life flows, the relationship is going to be according to that. However, relationships vary with time and circumstances. They cannot be the same even if they want to. Many of my old relationships all broke up. How many relationships grow narrower over time. I've been lucky in terms of

relationships. In which sense, I found the wife very understanding. If he had not shown understanding, our family would have been destroyed already. I had made such mistakes. I wasn't honest with my wife about extramarital affairs. She also knew this, but she did not allow the house to be broken. 

She explained that girls come in the life of an artist. 

I shouldn't have made that mistake, but I did. Do it again and again. Many girls liked to write letters. What could I do? We are human weaknesses. A man has his own kind of ego. How many things did I hurt my wife. I cheated on my wife a lot. This regret also made me very difficult, for one-and-a-half years after my wife passed away. I used to dream about it almost every night. We used to be together, we used to go somewhere, we used to have food somewhere. But gradually it became less and less, now it has been five or six months since I saw him in my dream. For one-and-a-half years, even looking at his photo made me want to cry. (Sighing and wiping away tears) There is no other friend in life that is closer than a wife. It's been four or five years since he passed away, I think he would have lived another five or seven more years.

How many conflicts there were between us, how many things we disagreed with, but in the end she obeyed me. She respected me. She did not want to go to Ilam from Kathmandu. She went there only because of my compulsion. We had a house in Siphal, Kathmandu, named after him. His mother-in-law also gave money, and we built the house by adding to it. Due to circumstances we sold that house and bought land in Ilam with my own tax, 139 ropani. We lived by cultivating tea. But I have no money, I took a loan from the bank. The income from tea was not as expected. Half of the land had to be sold after being unable to pay the loan. I sold land below 50 ropani. 

Around the year 2076, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, the prostate was already enlarged. When it started to become very difficult, I checked, it was already stage three cancer. Now stop falling asleep. I started to worry that I will die, how will my family survive. The wife was already physically weak, and she also had cancer. My wife is nine years younger than me, I thought that she would live longer than me and I thought of selling the land in Elam and building a house in Kathmandu, putting 30-40 lakh rupees in her name. I thought that even if something happened to her, she would be able to survive, she has a daughter-in-law and a granddaughter. Before that, when the issue of selling Elam's land came up, there was always a fight between us. That I will not sell, she must sell. However, this time she was surprised when I told her to sell it myself. At that time I had a loan of Rs 1 crore.

Did you take that loan only for tea farming? Not a

. There was no job. Household expenses were only 30-40 thousand per month. Poor in-laws, society of poor people, need to get married, go around. Had to live up to his standards. Loan only 1 crore, interest separately. No income. Even so, my wife never complained. She didn't bother me. Always giving moral support. And I sold 32 acres of land in Elam for 33 million. I also sold 10 and a half acres of land in front of the house. In Fikkal, I kept three and a half saplings around the house and 13-14 saplings of tea. I bought this house in Balkot in the name of my wife for 2 crores with the money I got after paying the loan. I also put 25 lakh rupees in his name. However, she could not enjoy it that much. she will go

If I am very happy about what, 'I am debt free, I have a house in my name, I have a bank balance', my wife could die confidently. That complacency is also a big thing. 

Now that I think about it, if I had died earlier, my wife would have suffered a lot. Why

?

I have many friends, but my wife's circle was limited. How many of his brothers and sisters could have come? Once a month? There was no work, there was no one to support him when he had to go somewhere. One leg was not so good. I even took him to Rara Lake to carry people. But I could not take Pathibhara, his ancestral village Tukuche and Muktinath. She was intelligent, she said that she would take Lumbini and make her light a lamp, but I could not fulfill these three wishes. When my wife was gone, I went to Pathibhara by myself, carried on another man's back. I offered a paati in his name. If I don't die now, I want to go to Muktinath and Lumbini.

How are you looking at death?

I'm taking death for granted. There is no choice. We used to say that life is hard to live, but without knowing it, it is going to be perfect. One thing, the government should give patients like us the right to euthanasia, so that the patient can take care of himself easily. The only way we survive is to pay for the hospital. He does not live happily even as long as he lives. I am in such pain that sometimes I feel like dying. Money saved me this long. That's not too long. 

But, don't take my body to the academy and keep it as a fly. Yogesh Vaidya's mortal body was taken to the Sangeet Natya Academy, his daughter is sitting with a fan humming flies because of her father's love, her son is sitting on her, twelve-fifteen artists have gathered, some say they should sing the song 'Sapna Bhulai Sara', others say, no one is worried about bringing the body to the ghat as soon as possible. If they take me there after I die, my condition will be the same. So, as soon as I am declared dead, let as many people as come, take me to the ghat. After death there is no need for me to perform such a cow pilgrimage.