- 'Oh yes. I will think and answer in 2/3 days.- What is there to think about it? My name is KP Oli. This is life. I have nothing in the name of property. I can't even buy you a skein of yarn. I can't even give you time. Do you have to understand anything else besides this?'

- 'That's it.'

- 'That's the point. Even with more understanding, there will be no progress,' he said smiling. 

- 'Oh yes, that's it.'

- 'If it happens, it will happen. If not, then no. Nothing is broken. On my part, I have come to meet you because I am OK.'

It was evening when the light was fading. The birds were on the roost. The porters were returning to their quarters. The city was in the mood to take a break from the day's hustle and bustle. After the party leaders proposed marriage, we met at a friend's dera in Patan one evening in the month of November. It was proposed by the leaders of the party. There was no plan to get married. They said it had been about two months. You said, let's meet once. I had agreed to meet only to see what would happen during the meeting. 

The first time I saw him at the Pulchok Engineering Campus from afar, there was respect for an ideal leader, but the context of today's meeting was different. The same leader whom my eyes anxiously waited for a long time to welcome, today I had to make a life decision by looking into his eyes. I was wrapped in another one again. When I came out of the house to meet him - slight shame, shyness and restlessness were increasing. 

I am a girl born in Shakya family of Lalitpur. He is Jhapa's brother. He was recently released after spending 14 years in prison because of his political beliefs. He had already arrived when I arrived. Closer up, it looks like a slobbering beard. Life is just like clothes hanging on a hanger. As a young adult his body had no charm.

but speech was breathless. had confidence. For the first time in my life I met someone who could say with such confidence that I have nothing - me. I used to think that not having anything was a matter of guilt, but this man was boldly saying that I have nothing while holding his head high in front of the girl who came to ask for his hand. I was surprised to see his confidence. 

I had heard a little about him. An orphan who lost his mother at the age of three, who did not receive his mother's love during his childhood. His body was sick due to the lack of love and affection and the harshness of prison for years, but his eyes showed the desire to do something. There was a very strong will inside. had confidence. More than that, he had the courage not to lie. That thing impressed me sometimes. 

- 'What happened to the final thing?'

- 'Yes'? I am with Jha who is teasing her. Before my mind could make a decision, I accidentally blurted out from my mouth - 'Yes, yes'.

- "Let's see you again" he said and left.

I didn't have any desire or fascination with marriage. Again I found this household work very tedious. He didn't like working in the kitchen. As a daughter-in-law, I could not even imagine the hardships of a woman. I used to think that I would do many things in my life, but I would never get married.

But I said yes to the man I met for the first time today. How big a decision was this? What did I do? Why was it necessary? I was forced? Did I do it right or wrong? When he came home from his friend's camp, many questions arose and settled in his mind. One question was pressed by another question and another question, but no answer came.

That night passed almost in a flash. My curiosity about my decision kept me awake. It was my sole decision. It was a decision made without consulting anyone. The decision was somewhat bolder and more audacious. Although I was not deceived by a single decision I made in my life since childhood, but it was not just a decision, it was really a big decision for life.

After hearing my decision, he fell in love. I thought that this girl would suffer by marrying me. In the next meeting, he told me, 'You will suffer by marrying me. If you want to change the decision, nothing is wrong yet, change.' I was confused for a moment after hearing his unexpected words. And while telling him the final decision, I said, 'I did not take this decision to change it. I am ready for marriage with you.' 

I was also a member of Anem Sangh Bagmati Zonal Committee at that time. I didn't know what his political portfolio was, but hearing that he was released after spending 14 years in prison evoked a distinct sense of respect and compassion.

thought so. The boy you met for the first time could have said, I will do this to you, he will do it, I will shoot down the stars in the sky. Without saying that, why don't you expect anything from me? This is honesty! I showed honesty that I can't do what I can't! It is because I believe that living in real poverty is a preferable part of life than living in false hopes. In the middle of the night, the ambivalence faded away and the heart became bolder, and I became clearly committed and determined to the 'yes' that came out of my mouth freely in the afternoon. 

This was the second time seeing him. First time at Pulchok Engineering Campus. He and his friends were released from prison in June 2044. In the same month, ANERASWAVIU held a program on the campus to welcome the released leaders.

People gathered from far and wide. The venue was packed. I saw him from a little distance - in the thin life of a small thorn. At that time the power of speaking was strong. He gave a speech to enthrall the gathering at the engineering campus. I didn't even think that she would be able to talk about marriage with KP Oli today. 

on February 10, 2044. We got married in the house of a party worker in Kupandol. People's marriage The wedding is over after the bride and groom put tika and garland on each other. On the same day, there was a final interview for the permanent position at Rashtra Bank. I had rushed to Kupandol after the interview, I was still dressed for the office. I was wearing a gray sweater, an old black saree and sandals.

I never looked like a bride from any angle. I am a hochihochi girl compared to him. He bowed slightly as I placed the garland and smiled, he too placed the garland. Vaccinated. Everyone present applauded. Our marriage is consummated. He looked like a bridegroom in a daura-suruwal and a blue coat. Comrade Amrit Bohora, Ashtalakshmi Shakya, Jhalnath Khanal, Vishnu Rimal and 15/20 other leaders-activists participated in our wedding.

I did not say this at home even after the Janwadi wedding took place at the initiative of the party. One was that I would not marry. Even when marriage proposals came from boys established as families from different places, I refused without discussing the matter. And how could marriage be possible with a boy without a place? Another thing is that we are Shakyas of Patan, he is the arm of Jhapa. It was a great rebellion against the social consciousness level of the society at that time. It was a topic that was more likely to be rejected than welcomed. 

Such a big decision of life was made by me alone. Even after wearing vermilion and garlands after marriage, I did not give even a hint of it to anyone in my family. After all, how many days could be avoided by pretending! How many days could have been escaped! One day, the truth that I hid was revealed by reality. Despite knowing so much, I didn't have the courage to tell. 

I felt like telling my mother today but I couldn't. I would dare to tell my child again - I couldn't say it. It seemed that it would be easier than his brother, but he did not have the courage to tell him. What a difficult time I was going through. I was living on the run with myself. I spent almost a week in such confusion, confusion and restlessness. I was a victim of my own inner conflict badly. 

However, there was no benefit in keeping this secret. There was no situation where he could sit without telling anyone with the burden of such a big decision in his mind. As soon as possible, this burden of privacy would be shed. I informed the family about the offer from the party and my decision. I said I am getting married to KP Oli. After that, everyone in the house was shocked. On the one hand, the daughter's consent for marriage, saying that she would not get married, may have been a matter of relief for her parents, but I thought that the manner and the person with whom she proposed to marry was not acceptable to them. 

A guy rebelling against the government. A man who has spent 14 years in prison. There was a danger of being targeted by the state at any time. As a parent of a daughter, what else is beyond the comfort and safety of her daughter's life? My parents' feelings were probably not different from that. Standing in their place, it is natural to look like that, but the situation has gone far beyond that.  After listening to the

, the mother did not say anything. Ba did not seem to readily agree. I understood Ba's feelings but what could I do? At that time, I was suffering from reality and constraint. It was a time when I was standing on the conflicting lines of emotions of the two most important men in my life.

What you thought in your place was also right and the path I chose was not wrong. I could not explain this to Ba in words. It was believed that time would give answers to all these unanswered questions. It was such a moment, I could not agree with my father's disagreement. 

Preparations were made to get married from home on February 28. The first was the democratic way. From home again. The same boy was getting married twice within 18 days. Baa was not ready yet. He was still pressed by the level of social consciousness at that time. He used to say, 'Yes, but my daughter would have found a boy who matched her.' He went to his mother's house on that wedding day. 

On the day of the wedding, KP sir came with Sushil Pyakurel, Narad Bharadwaj, Deepak Amatya and two or three other friends. At home too, the marriage ceremony was completed in the same manner as tikamala. Grandfather and mother had given tika and blessed. 

I was looking for a room in Patan Pilache. After marriage we moved to that room. He was only focused on politics. Personal life was chaotic. I had arranged Pilache's room. Especially after marriage, he did not bring me in, but I brought him in. 

I call my husband KP Sharma Oli as KP Sir. People wonder what they say to their own elders. I don't say KP sir just to complete the formality in front of people, I address KP sir even when there are only two of us. It has no purpose. There is no obligation to say KP sir. I could also address my husband by other words without taking his name like normal women do. I could say Mr. I could say old. I could say KPG. Or I could have said nothing. But, I got used to saying this from the beginning and it became easier. 

The party leaders who came with our marriage proposal for the first time were known as KP Comrades. We used to say comrades among equal friends. But, he was a senior leader and I was hesitant as to how to call him a KP comrade. I could not say comrade. I found it difficult to address the man who was being talked about for marriage by what else.

When I met him, it had been almost 8 years since I started working at Rashtra Bank. It has become a habit to address the people you meet in daily work as sir, ma'am. That's why I called him sir? Gradually this became a habit. Now I am addressed as KP sir in any formal/informal place.

He calls me nanny. Mamaghar calls me Nanidevi. That is why you call me nanny. At times in formal places it feels strange when he addresses her as Radhika. I wonder if he told me rather than Radhika or someone else. At that time, the valley camps of the leaders outside the valley were common.

The accommodation of relatives and workers coming from outside was not comfortable. After marriage, our personal time, our private 'space' became almost nil. Sixteen people had to sleep in that small room. What can you say about sleeping? Only spend the night.

Private life, as a husband and wife, 'sharing, sharing, caring' is not much different, even if it is never felt. That's why the hassle of cooking rice was bothering me. I kept saying that I would not get married because I would have to bear family troubles. In a way, life was becoming like a 'fish falling from the sea'.

Shortly after the marriage, he went in charge of Lumbini zone. Meanwhile, his news was not known for a long time. Even the passers-by brought stale news. He wrote letters from time to time. I was as happy when the letter arrived as when I met the person. After that, until the next letter came, the restlessness kept creeping into my heart. If the water splashes, you will get sick. It is shocking to see the villages of Lumbini. It is dry with thorns. Injuries are terrible. Life is getting sick. There is no end to eating and sleeping. Who cares? Many arguments came to mind, kept coming.

is going down the whole state. It could be done wherever it was found. Even when I remembered, my heart was heavy. Jiu used to be a syringe. The day passed smoothly, but the night was difficult to pass. But, this was the life I chose. It was time I accepted. These were the normal repercussions of my determination to support a man who had spent 14 years in prison. I should not have been disturbed by it. I was aware that I might have to face many more difficulties to fulfill the decision I had made to support a warrior who was walking with a dilapidated body but was determined and determined.

I myself went through a serious illness in my childhood and he was weakened by the torture he suffered during his long prison life. He was at the forefront of the class struggle. We were drawn closer by such shared wounds. Brought together by shared pain. That's why maybe I didn't get distracted. Otherwise, as a wife, if she were to keep her desires and expectations with her husband in a natural balance, the very definition of balance would have to be changed.

As a wife, I had to support him. He was also an orphan who lost his mother at a young age. There was an attempt to give the feeling of a mother's love to a person who has lost the warmth of a mother's arms and motherly love, but it is not happening. There have been many ups and downs since those difficult days, taking care, protecting, protecting till today. We have come this far on the strength of cooperation rather than the mutual relationship between husband and wife. Since the beginning, I have been dedicating myself as a colleague of a politician rather than as a common wife. 

My meeting with KP Oli was a strange coincidence and getting married was another sweet coincidence. What I got from him as a wife doesn't mean much. My only priority is what I can contribute as a wife. 

Sometimes I remember, if you behave only as a wife, there are plenty of places to complain. A common wife should give time to her husband. Give gifts on birthdays. Make the wedding anniversary memorable. Don't tell me what you need. One could complain that he did not give his important time to his family, that he did not share enough happiness!