Hardly anyone has forgotten that red day of Bhadra 23 (Gen-G Andolan) and that white shoe stained with blood on the streets of Naya Baneshwor. A picture of that shoe, which went 'viral' from social media walls to the front pages of newspapers, had shaken the nation.

Many people asked, 'Whose shoe is this?' I am saying from this platform today - that shoe stained with blood is mine and that blood is my body.

I grew up in an ordinary village in Dailekh. My home is in Dailekh Narayan Municipality-8 of Karnali Province. Despite the mountainous geography, our place is connected to the Terai. I spent my childhood in the village. Now, I have my parents, brother-in-law, wife and a 19-month-old son at home. My story is not just about a shoe, it is the story of misrule, unemployment and the helplessness of the state that my generation is experiencing.

Since childhood, I was more interested in becoming an 'army' than studying. My dream was to join the army and serve the country and raise a family. My father's wish was that I become a general practitioner (Health Assistant-HA). To please my father, I finished school in Dailekh and came to Nepalgunj. My financial situation was not good. Nevertheless, I completed my senior high school in 2073 BS.

In between my studies, I also tried to join the Indian Army but failed. At that time, I got a big shock. I did not pay much attention to my studies. I had to study four subjects in the first year and three in the second year. When the door to join the army was closed, I realized that my last option was studies. When I reached the final year, I passed the exams in 14 subjects at once. I was the hope of my family. Being the youngest son, everyone had expectations from me.

In 2074 BS, I came to Kathmandu for the first time with a big dream. I prepared for the civil service. My name did not come out. Then there was talk of adjustment in the health service. For three years, no public service advertisement was opened in the health sector. In the meantime, I got a job in some projects. Then, two years were eaten by Covid. The speed at which I was trying to run to do something, five years of my life were wasted due to the weakness of the state. I was confused. My path was blocked.

I worked on a contract at Dailekh Prison for some time, but when a permanent employee came there, I was fired. Then I felt that there was no point in living in this country anymore. I decided to go abroad.

At that time, the war between Russia and Ukraine was going on. I had an old desire to be an army soldier again. I did a lot of research about it on YouTube and social media. I heard that many Nepalis had died or been taken hostage there, but my situation forced me to go there. Without telling anyone at home, I paid 1 million rupees for a 'student visa' and reached Russia. Even the consultancy did not know that I was going to join the army in Russia. I reached Russia in three months.

Within five days of reaching Russia, I reached the recruitment center and joined the army. After just seven days of training, I was sent to the Russia-Ukraine border. There I learned to shoot, attack bunkers and avoid grenades. We, a team of three hundred people, traveled deep into Ukraine for 18 hours.

The 18 months there were the most terrible times of my life. I saw my friends die before my eyes. Missiles were flying overhead. Some friends would message on WhatsApp, 'I'm going to the frontline, it's okay if I come back, otherwise I'll inform my home.' When a team of 30 people went to the frontline, only 5-10 people would return after 10-15 days. Many Nepalis have died. My friends too.

I watched death closely every day and night for 18 months. But, surprisingly, even after living in the world's largest battlefield for 18 months, not a single nail fell off, I didn't feel even a small flaw.

While I was at war, my son was born in Nepal. After seeing my son's face, I wanted to return home as soon as possible. After 18 months, I returned to Nepal from Russia with honor. After coming to Nepal, I stayed in Dailekh for some time but was unemployed again. Since nothing would happen in Nepal, I started worrying about where to go again. Some of my friends had become Qatari police. Then I came to Kathmandu to join the Qatar Police.

While I was editing 'documents' in Kathmandu, I saw videos of the Gen-G movement on TikTok. At first, I didn't understand, but later on, I felt that this was my generation's fight. I didn't know who had called me to the movement, who was the leader. But, I knew that our previous generation didn't speak up, so we must speak up against this misrule and corruption. I reached Maitighar on Bhadra 23 so that my son and the coming generation would have an environment to live in this country.

That morning, I reached Maitighar from New Baneshwor with my brother-in-law Biplav Thapa. From Maitighar, we headed towards Baneshwor in a large group. We had taken to the streets to ask some questions. I felt that in my own country, you don't get shot for asking questions. However, when I was near the Parliament House, a little before Baneshwor Chowk, I suddenly got shot in the left leg.

As soon as I got shot, I fell to the ground. In those two-three seconds, I looked at my leg, it was already damaged. I had collapsed saying, "Oh my God!". By then, I knew that I had been shot. I had seen my leg swell as soon as I was shot. My leg was limp.

I was rescued quickly. My shoes were full of blood. While putting me in the ambulance, my friends took off the white shoes covered in blood and threw them there. I had bought those shoes for 1500 rupees from a shop in Nepalgunj some time ago. I really liked those shoes, but those shoes later became a symbol of the movement.

I was taken to the National Trauma Center. The situation there was even more terrible. Some people were shot, some were shot, all the beds were full. I had a 12-hour operation and came to my senses after about 24-26 hours.

When I came to my senses, the nurse in the ICU read me the Prime Minister's (Sushila Karki) statement. She had called it a 'mass murder' and demanded action against the culprits. My body shuddered when she heard that. We had high hopes that something would change now, but the current government could not fulfill that expectation. 76 friends lost their lives, more than 2600 were injured. I, a person who had returned safely from that war in Russia, had to be shot by the state when I asked a question in my own country.

The story of that shoe is that after coming from Russia, I went to Nepalgunj, and there was a shoe store there. The shoe looked very good. I bought two pairs. I really liked the white shoes that are going viral now.

The question arises as to why this story. We did not go on a protest to burn them. We took to the streets with our questions and grievances against the government. The government responded by shooting them. Should we die when we question the government?

I did not tell this story to gain sympathy. I have never spoken on such a stage. I only want to say that create an environment for us to live in this country. Give us a stable government and employment. Do not force us to go abroad and fight wars again.