I got married at the age of 26, after completing my graduation and becoming employed. In this way, with the increase in time and access to education, the age of marriage is also increasing in the society, but still in South Asia, Nepal's name comes second (after Bangladesh) in the country of child marriage.

A week ago, in a meeting with friends who work in the field of child rights and youth networks, I saw disappointment and panic in almost everyone. The reason was the news about the instructions given to the government by a committee of the House of Representatives to reduce the minimum age of marriage from 20 years to 18 years. It has been six years since the law set the minimum age for marriage at 20 years.

Meanwhile, child marriage, child mortality and maternal mortality have decreased. The percentage of girls going to college has increased. It is often seen that daughters are the ones who bring gold medals in higher education. Daughters are learning employable skills in 18/20 years. Several policy strategies have been behind this progress, one of them being the law to raise the minimum age of marriage to 20 years. After 18 years, the graph of this progress will also go down, won't it? Anxiety is everywhere, and this anxiety is justified.

What is the appropriate age to get married? Public debate is necessary. Because, this question is less biological and more sociological and psychologically important. Health experts, educationists, psychologists, child rights activists and gender equality advocates should be included in the debate. Children below 18 years of age are considered children.

In our country, there are legal provisions to obtain citizenship after the age of 16, to vote and get a driver's license after the age of 18, and to get married after the age of 20. These thoughtful provisions are important for the overall development of the adolescent. In terms of reproductive health, those who become mothers before the age of 21 are called adolescent or early mothers and are considered at risk. Public health experts consider 25/26 years (late twenties) as the ideal age for motherhood in terms of physical and mental maturity.

My mother was married at the age of 9. My mother used to tell me the story of being scared when she saw her husband, running away and crying because she didn't want to go home after her death. The elder sister got married at 18, the first child was born at 20.

Not being financially capable while reading and writing, she became dependent when she got married, and because of the physical and mental stress it gave, my sister became 'self-sufficient' at the age of 24, leaving behind her two young children of 4 years and 6 months and went to study nursing. After starting to earn on your own, you have felt a decent life. 

I got married at the age of 26, after completing my graduation and becoming a job. In this way, with the increase in time and access to education, the age of marriage is also increasing in the society, but still in South Asia, Nepal's name comes second (after Bangladesh) in the country of child marriage. Neighboring India and Bhutan have made huge strides in ending child marriage over the past decade. Our achievement is in a positive direction, but not satisfactory.

According to the 2022 data of the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF), 28 percent of the teenagers in the age group of 20 to 24 years in South Asia are married before reaching the age of 18. In Nepal, 54 lakh 93 thousand 550 of this age group are still married before reaching the age of 18. The number of teenagers who marry before the age of 20 and become parents before the age of 21 is more than this. Statistics show that this situation is particularly dangerous for children and adolescents. Socially and also tragic for the country's economy. 

Among those who got married before the age of 18, only about 32 percent got married of their own will and another 68 percent got married because of parental decision or family pressure, a study showed. Early marriage is more common in families that are economically disadvantaged, socially marginalized and far from access to education and employment. 

Children are deprived of basic human rights such as education, health, protection and recreation when they get married at a young age, without physical and psycho-social maturity and without being independent for livelihood. , the current law has increased the age of marriage to at least 20 years because it has been seen that social evils such as domestic violence have not decreased due to increasing dependence. 

Along with the legal provisions, the government has also been implementing a separate national strategy to end child marriage since 2072. Health workers, researchers, experts and campaigners who have worked for decades on issues such as child rights, maternal and child, reproductive and mental health, gender violence have made a great contribution to this campaign. As a result, there has been an increase in public awareness that 'you should not marry at an early age' and the maternal and infant mortality rate due to child marriage has also decreased. Daughters of

Kishori network say - 'Yesterday, parents started looking for a boy for marriage before the end of 10th grade, today they send them to campus after school or take part in trainings to learn skills because the law does not allow them to get married for 20 years. This feeling of girls is very positive in terms of women's empowerment.

Why is marrying at a young age harmful? Because marriage gives social recognition to regular physical relations. Therefore, having children after marriage, giving birth, bringing them up and fulfilling the family and social obligations that come with marriage are general principles. If girls get married at a young age, education is not continued, reproductive health conditions are risky. Employment opportunities and access decrease.

Various studies have shown that increased family responsibilities at a young age can lead to anxiety, depression, and increased likelihood of domestic violence. A joint study conducted by five organizations working in the field of child rights in the districts from East Morang to West Doti has shown that early marriage has negative effects in four main areas: health, education, economic and social. According to the

report, pregnancy loss when pregnant at a young age, anemia during pregnancy, uterine rupture during childbirth, genital rupture when the strength is not enough to give birth, death of the mother, low birth weight, weak birth, forced delivery before birth or disability. After the birth of a child, there is a problem of teenage mothers not knowing or refusing to breastfeed. Research and publications conducted at Patan Hospital and other teaching hospitals have also confirmed these results.

In the same way, teenage mothers have problems like their age friends going to school, college and if they cannot accept the situation of having to take care of a newborn baby, they remain mentally disturbed, do not pay attention to the care of the child and in some cases even commit suicide. A study report of a medical college in Kathmandu showed that 71 percent of young mothers had some health problem, 62 percent had reproductive health problems and 45 percent had mental health problems.

A research report on Nepal published in the Asian Journal of Psychiatry in 2023 says, "One-third of those who become mothers in adolescence are victims of depression."

In terms of education and employment, childhood and adolescence are a time for writing, reading, playing, entertaining and learning life skills. School and college goers benefit from these all-round development opportunities in one way or another. But those who get married early, especially girls drop out of school, because they can't give attention and time to studies, it becomes difficult to pass and eventually they drop out of studies. Missing education is not only missing the opportunity for overall development of the present, but also missing the opportunity for tomorrow's employment.

 Usually in the government or non-government sector, the minimum qualification to get a job at the official level is graduation. Looking at the current competition to get more jobs, there are many people who do not get a graduate level job even after graduating.

 Children who pass SEE in 16 years and twelfth in 18 years usually pass graduation in 22/24 years. And getting married before the age of 22/24 means not being able to pass graduation. Those with less education also have fewer opportunities for employment or self-employment and cannot be self-sufficient for livelihood.

In our society, especially in the rural areas, only the lucky few still get to go to college independently and effectively even after marriage. Being forced to depend on husband, parents or mother-in-law for living is the biggest cause of domestic violence against women. Women dependent on others cannot speak out against the violence against them and fight freely for justice. 

The psychosocial aspect of marrying at a young age is also risky. Research has also shown that couples who get married at a young age, without getting to know their spouse well, grow to dislike each other as time goes by.

In our society even now there is no difference in the gender roles of boys after marriage, they can stay with their parents and study regularly. But after the marriage of girls, work and family's expectations of them increase. Education is not a priority, rather than housework, mother-in-law, farming, taking care of children.

If a couple who got married at a young age get separated due to foreign employment, there is an equally high risk of becoming mentally disturbed and going into depression, doubting each other's character, establishing a relationship with another boy or girl, and increasing family disintegration. Which has a direct impact on society and economy. Now let's think, if the health, psycho-social and economic conditions of the manpower that make up the country remain like this, how will we be happy?

Rather than the implementation of the law, why the hype of lowering the age of marriage? It is surprising to hear. When studies show that marriage or sexual relations at an early age affects the physical and psychosocial health of adolescents, it has a negative impact on the country's human development index and economic development. Often argued 

- 'Children between the ages of 18 and 20 willingly have sex, get married but are not legally recognized, the number of crimes in the society has increased, prisons and correctional facilities are filled with young people, so reduce the age of marriage.' break Do such arguments come from our law makers with a question or understanding? Are our policy makers not aware of the consequences of marrying at an early age and many constitutional provisions and national policies and programs such as ending child marriage, improving maternal and child health, increasing women's access to education and employment, and ending violence against women? And what will be the effectiveness of these policy programs when inciting to get married quickly?

The result of raising the minimum age of marriage to 20 years from the point of view of overall development of children and economic and social empowerment of women is positive, but the government believes that the law is still not fully implemented. If so, study why the law was not fully complied with and do homework for improvement or change the law itself because it could not be implemented? 

On the one hand, globalization, liberalization and  marketization disaster, on the other hand, increasing use of information, communication and social networks and the change of social values ​​that are becoming more rational, the teenagers themselves in the society are increasingly tied to physical relationships at an early age. Which adds to the challenge for parents.

However, to address this challenge, raising awareness about the law, keeping information about the law in all public places such as schools, squares, playgrounds, hotels, temples, mosques, churches, parks, bus stops, workplaces, and discussing the physical, economic, and psychosocial effects of early marriage How ironic is it to say that instead of giving instructions to create an environment where teenagers and parents stay within the limits of the law, they will control crime by lowering the benchmark? Even now, knowing the fact that more than half of those who get married at a young age get married under the pressure of their parents, won't this trend increase when the law lowers the age?