From 13-year-old Nirmala Panta from Kanchanpur to an 18-month-old girl from Belbari, Morang, from a 7-year-old girl from Chuichumma Rural Municipality, Khotang to 12-year-old Anshu Gautam from Letang, Morang. All are victims of rape. Who are only in our memories. 16-year-old Inisha Bik from Surkhet is just the latest character in this series.

The shocking stories narrated by two teenage girls who were raped in the video program 'Inside the Bunker' hosted by Suraj Singh Thakuri a few days ago have angered many on social media. The stories told by 14-year-old Pushpa from Sudurpaschim, who was raped in Chhaupadi, and another teenager who was raped by her own father, are not only heartbreaking, but also disturbing to many who have a calm mind.

When I listen to and read about teenage girls and girls who have survived rape, my throat often gets blocked, my heart beats faster, and my eyes water. These incidents are neither fictional nor fictional. This is the life lived by hundreds of girls in our society. Hundreds of girls who have come out and have not been rescued are living a hellish life every day, not only in the chhaupadi, but also with their close relatives. But I still feel like asking the same question again and again - where are the girls safe?

These issues are not just a matter of debate for the sake of debate, but have become tough questions that test the sensitivity of society. The recent incidents that have become public show that the home that is considered the safest for girls is becoming the most dangerous. The father who gave birth to them, the brother who wished for their long life with a brother-in-law's tika, and the husband who swore to live and die with them, sharing their joys and sorrows, are putting the honor and lives of girls at risk.

Cases of rape by one's own father are becoming public . When parents, who should be symbols of trust and protection, become violent, the very foundation of society is shaken . The situation outside the home is no different . Young women in love relationships are becoming victims of sexual violence by their boyfriends .

Such violence in the name of 'love' and 'trust' is often hidden . Many incidents do not come to light due to shame, fear and social pressure . What is even more frightening is that news of even one-and-a-half-year-old girls being raped is becoming public . Such incidents are not only a sign of the distorted mentality of an individual, but also a sign of the deepening violent mindset and weak legal implementation within society . 

Based on the public annual report of the Nepal Police for the fiscal year 2080/81, about 65 percent of the total complaints of rape and sexual violence are related to minors (girls under the age of 18). According to the report, the highest number of victims are girls aged 11 to 14, who account for about 22 percent of the total complaints.

Out of a total of 3,489 complaints of sexual violence and rape registered in the fiscal year 2080/81, 2,255 were minor victims. An analysis of the data shows that on average, more than 6 girls/adolescents fall victim to rape and sexual violence every day in Nepal. This number looks even more alarming when including incidents that are not reported to the police.

Why are incidents of sexual violence and rape of girls increasing?

The reason for the increase in incidents of rape and sexual violence of girls is not the result of personal maladjustment, it is a complex of social, economic and psychological reasons. First of all, lack of supervision makes children vulnerable. Poor attention from family, school and community gives opportunities to criminals. Poverty is another important reason. Due to economic deprivation, girls are forced to live alone, work or go to risky environments, which weakens their security.

Similarly, girls can be easily seduced due to their young age. It is easy to lure them with gifts, love or false promises. In addition, criminals also think that they can be easily controlled because they are considered physically and socially weak. Scientifically, some people have weak impulse control and lack of empathy and addiction or drug use. Which can increase sexually violent thoughts and behavior. Similarly, studies have shown that people who have experienced violence or abuse in childhood are at a higher risk of repeating the same behavior later. Impunity and social silence in particular also help such incidents to repeat.

What can families do?

Keeping your child safe is not just a matter of controlling the rules, it is deeply connected to trust, love and emotional relationships. Talking openly to children, especially by female family members like mothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, and grandmothers, means giving them the feeling that 'you are safe, there is someone who listens to you'. When a child feels this emotional and psychological security, he or she can express his or her experiences and problems to others without fear, shame, or confusion.

The reason why many girls feel comfortable with female family members on such topics is emotional closeness. According to child psychology, children prefer to talk about their innermost and sensitive things with someone who feels safe and understands them.

Especially since mothers or other female members show affection, patience, and sympathy, children find it easy to trust them. Scientifically, a safe relationship is very important in a child's brain development. When a child feels safe, he or she is able to think, speak, and make decisions openly. This also increases the ability to recognize risky situations and say 'no'.

Sex education should also be given on the basis of this trust. Sex education is necessary for both sons and daughters. If the family makes it a matter of shame, the child hides his curiosity and may seek information from the wrong sources. But if 'safe and unsafe touch' is taught openly and in simple language, the child becomes aware of himself.

The love and trust of the family are the first protective circle of the child. When the child feels that 'there is someone who listens to me', his safety begins from there.

The role of the school

The role of the school is important in reducing serious crimes like rape, especially the rape of minors. Along with studies, the school should provide effective sex education according to age. This education should not be fear-mongering or shame-mongering, but should focus on 'safe and unsafe touch', consent, body rights and how to identify risks in simple and clear language. Children can easily understand if it is taught through classes, discussions, pictures, stories and practical examples.

Similarly, self-defense training is very important. Such training develops the courage to say 'no' to children, how to escape in difficult situations and how to immediately inform a trusted person, and also increases their self-confidence.

On the other hand, the role of teachers is even more important. Teachers should not only teach, but also pay attention to children's behavior, fears or unusual changes. By increasing monitoring and responsibility, an environment should be created where immediate action is taken if any activity is suspicious, and coordination with parents should be created. Schools should be a safe place for girls to openly express their problems to teachers or close friends. Only the safe environment they get at school can provide a long-term solution to reducing such crimes.

The role of the community

If the community is aware and responsible, many incidents can be prevented before they happen. First of all, it is necessary to pay attention to suspicious activities in and around the neighborhood. Unusual behavior of strangers, attempts to seek solitude with children or repeated closeness activities should not be ignored by people in society or acquaintances. Informing the family or related agencies in a timely manner when such signs are seen is a great risk and protection from insecurity. Nepali society seems tolerant of inhumane issues like rape. Society has developed a habit of blaming the victim in rape cases. Many incidents do not come to light due to the fear of negative questions raised by the victim's habits and behavior. Victims cannot speak out due to shame, fear, and social insecurity. Even if the issues do come to light, the habit of reconciliation and giving sympathy to the perpetrator should be stopped.