My husband was a good husband. Even if it was by working for others, he would earn money and bring home a decent meal. Now there is no one in the family who can work. I myself keep getting sick from time to time.

I don't even have money to buy medicine. This time I have been suffering from fever for 15 days, I have taken medicine worth 4,500 from Bhagalpur, but I have not recovered yet. Sometimes I feel like I am going to die. I have not paid for the medicine. If I survive, I have thought of paying it off even if it is at someone's fair.

My house is located on a Sri Lankan island between Ramnagar, Udayapur and Sunsari. Earlier we used to call it Sunsari. After the 2074 BS elections, it is located in Belka Municipality-2 of Udayapur. After the rains, the Ginderi River floods. It is impossible to cross. It is difficult to cross, and it is difficult to go to Sunsari due to the Koshi. In the rain, the Koshi bothers me, and in the winter, there is a fear of elephants. Elephants not only eat crops, they destroy houses. They kill people. 6 years ago, my husband was killed by an elephant.

I got married at the young age of 12. I have been living here for 28 years. It has been 43 years now. I have 2 daughters and a son. Kalpana is 6 years old, another is 9 and the son is 11 years old. The school is far away. I have not been able to send her to study. I have to buy books and school uniforms. Where will I get money for all this? My sister also lives with me. But she is also sick. She cannot work. There is not much farmland. This is enough to eat vegetables normally. I have two goats, a buffalo herd and a padi at home. That too is someone else's property. I bought a goat for 2500 last year. I am sending my son to school without any worries. But they say that his studies are not good, and it is too far. I have to reach Bhagalpur. I have not been able to send my daughters to school. I feel like I could have educated my children even if I could not study. But when I do not have money, what does anyone care? Even the neighbors do not look after the poor. After the elephant killed my husband, I did not even have money to pay for groceries. But no one in the village helped me. Sometimes I feel like leaving this place and going somewhere else. But there is no place to go, where to go? When you die or die like this, you need your neighbors and relatives. But no one helps you. Even when you are sick, you have to sit around and be tired.

When I am healthy, I earn 2/4 paisa by working as a labourer, doing farm work. That is why I have been avoiding household expenses. What are the expenses when I cannot earn anything? But I have to buy salt, rice, and one pair of clothes a year. That is what I spend on. Sometimes goats and lambs get sick.

My children get sick. But I don't have money for treatment. The children want to eat fish and meat. What can I do, I don't have money for vegetables. I haven't even been able to feed my children enough. I would rather survive by eating only one meal a day, but I would be happy if I could feed my children enough.

My house is also a simple hut. It leaks water in the rain and I can't sleep or sit. In winter, it is impossible to sleep due to cold.
No government has come to look after the poor. I have been voting in Udayapur since 2074 BS. Leaders come during elections, they say that we have to vote, we will manage something, but they do not come back after the elections are over. I hear that elections are coming again. But so far no one has come to ask for votes. What is the point of voting for a leader who does not understand your suffering and poverty? Really?

There is a great fear of elephants at this time. The houses in this settlement are far apart. Even if an elephant comes and destroys someone's house, others do not know. When you go to ask for help, the elephant has already destroyed all the crops, vegetables, and houses. Now, what to do, who to tell about this problem? After all, you are the one who will suffer. You are the one who will bear it. Who will put ointment on our pain? My husband was taken by an elephant.

It seems like we are also living with God's trust. If we don't run away as soon as we hear the elephant's footsteps, anything can happen. After being unable to chase it away, we had to run away to save our lives. That too, we have to run away with our children. We can't sleep well at night because of the fear of elephants. It's embarrassing to beg for food. Who can we beg from? Not even a village is nearby.