Poverty and many problems never left me. It seems as if my whole being is intertwined with problems. When one problem after another follows me, sometimes I feel tired and exhausted even thinking about life.

I remember this again, I am not the only one with such a miserable life. We, the Dalit community, are forced to endure humiliation from tradition.

Since childhood, life has been going on in the village by cutting grass and carrying the burden of our neighbors. My family is running on the food grains that are collected by waiting for others to take their turn. Not only me, but my wife Janaki also works as a loader of manure and firewood in the village. Sometimes she goes to help in cutting grass. I went to school. I left school without taking the final exam of the eighth grade. After that, I have been living my life as a laborer. If I had studied, I would have become something.

My house is located in Damai Tol, under the road to Manedanda in Bahrabise Municipality-9, Ramche. I am now about to cross 37 years old. As I get older, my strength and vitality decrease. It collapsed due to the earthquake and the aftershocks that followed. Now I have built a small house in that place. That house is actually in my grandmother's name. There are two fields. The food produced in them is enough to cover the morning and evening meals. How much food is there in the fields that are broken? We have nothing. When I was feeling down, I would drink a little alcohol after remembering the struggle and pain.

Seeing my condition, my neighbor Ramesh Paudyal sir and others encouraged me and reminded me. After that, my mind has been lightened. I earn 2 to 3 thousand a month by doing heavy, perm and right and left in the village. Apart from that, there is no other way of income. It is difficult to get wages even in the work provided by the municipality. Other work is a far cry because no one cares about us, the people of the land. We have a nine-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter. They are constantly worried.

The 2/3 thousand they earn in a month is not enough to live on. They cannot hide their sorrow. They feel like sitting in solitude and crying, remembering their financial problems and deprivation. It has been 10 years since we got married. Since I do not have money, I have not been able to muster up the courage to go to Chautara, the district headquarters, to get my wife's citizenship.

Since my wife does not have citizenship, the marriage has not been registered and the birth of our children has not been registered. When we go from the village to Bahrabise via Bandeu to Chautara, we spend at least 2 thousand on bus fare and food. It is difficult to raise that. The municipality has made schooling free for children. But it is difficult to avoid the cost. Due to financial constraints, treatment and health check-ups are done at the health post and Bahrabise primary health center. If we get a serious illness, we have no choice but to die.

Even though the place to live is convenient, there are problems with gas and treatment. Such expenses are not uncommon. When I don't have it, I work by making ends meet. However, after taking a loan, I have to pay the money. To save up the money to pay, I have to run around looking for a job again. A family of four needs 3/4 of the expenses on ration water. After spending all the money earned, the dream of eating delicious food and dressing well is not fulfilled. I have to go to Kathmandu for better treatment. However, I have to swallow the bone with my throat open. When I don't have money, I don't even dare to go anywhere. And I don't have big dreams either.