I live in the apple market. Apple market is small. Nevertheless, it is the crossroads connecting the seven hilly districts of Far West. I don't have a home here. My home, the world, is the door of the public toilet in the market and the small tin shed next to it. I am limited here. I am making a living by cleaning the public toilets on the Terai route of the apple market.

I didn't do this before . Until two years ago, my son used to take care of the toilet . It has been a year since he was forced to go to India to work as he was not earning much from here. Son is sweating abroad and I am handling the responsibility of opening and closing the toilet door . 

It's been many years since the husband passed away. At the age, suddenly left us and left the world . From that day my life paled . He was married at the age of 14. When I was overwhelmed by poverty, sometimes I carried grass and firewood to make ends meet, sometimes I did labor. During that lack, the death of her husband doubled that sorrow. 

Now I am 70 years old. There is no power to work, but the stomach must be taken care of anyway . Sitting in this toilet, the day passes by collecting five to ten rupees given by someone who comes to defecate. Some people hand over 50-100 rupees saying that they should give something to old mother . Sometimes it is two/three hundred rupees. I am also in charge of cleaning the toilet. Sometimes they provide cleaning materials from the ward and sometimes from the nearby traffic office. It gives some relief. 

My house is in Malam village. It takes about an hour to reach Syauli market on foot from here. I go home to sleep at night . I will come early . In the morning, I cook bread and vegetables at home. Not always vegetables . Sometimes you should eat radish chutney and roti pressed in silato . The smell of that mula, the taste mixed with mild salt and chili is my breakfast . Sometimes after eating rice, I leave at 10/11. Where is Sancho always in old age and ! 

I mix simple flour, water and salt and roll the bread and cook it in a tawa . Sometimes the bread is hard, it's hard to bite with my teeth, but I chew quietly . Because I know, this food is made by my own sweat . In the afternoon I am often in the bustle of the market . At this time it depends on my earnings to feed my stomach . Sometimes the nearby hotel owner calls out saying, "The old mother should go and have breakfast". Sometimes the traffic policemen, who are in a nearby office, bring rice-dal and vegetables and keep them . This food is not like expensive hotel food, but I feel heavenly joy when it is mixed with love and respect . 

In the evening, bread and vegetables are eaten again. Sometimes I heat up the leftover vegetables in the morning, sometimes I cook and eat the vegetables given by someone from the market . Sometimes there are no vegetables, only bread and salt. The vegetable shopkeepers in the vegetable apple market sometimes give free vegetables to ``old mother'' when they return home.  On that day a smile will return to my face . When the earnings are high, you can eat to your heart's content . When earnings are low, bread is thin, vegetables even thinner . The number of people who come to defecate in the market determines the size of my food plate . Sometimes only 40-50 rupees are collected in a day . While chewing the evening bread that day, I remember my husband . When he was at least there was no worry about filling his stomach.  There is a small tin shed made by the ward office next to the

toilet. There I keep and sell mineral water, biscuits, gutka . But, this coat protects me from rain and sun . People from neighboring hotels and traffic offices sometimes bring food and sometimes snacks. Sometimes they also help to fill the water drum . I am not paid any salary here . However, old age allowance is available. That amount is not big, but it is support for clothes and medicine when sick. I buy vegetables from the market on the day I receive the old-age allowance, the food on that day is sweeter than others. I am satisfied with bread and vegetables .