There is nothing to say in life. There was no point in saying no. I had to take some measures, so I am earning a living by earning 10/12 muri paddy field of Bhim Baral in the village. Maize also grows 10/12 muri. I am alone at home. The production is still going on.

It has been two years since Mrs. Leelamaya fell. Even now, I remember him in my heart . He had a disease of bleeding in the urine . I was taken to the district hospital for treatment three times. The district hospital also gave up last time . It is not possible to take it to Dharan or Jhapa. After hearing that, the wife said, "I will not live either, I have no money, but take it home and keep it". Then, instead of going to the city for treatment, I brought him back home. We had no children. The wife will also not have a long account . 

As long as there were two old people, life was fine. Even though we didn't have food expenses, the old people used to look at each other's faces and understand each other. Now my life has become rough . It feels desolate .  After the passing of his wife, life has been quiet.

I plant paddy to cover household expenses . I grow corn. I have raised goats, pigs, chickens . Farming is very expensive. It costs up to 15,000 to cultivate once. Picking the crops from the field and bringing them to the house also costs a lot. Men's wages are 500 and women's wages are 300. Farming crops with fixed wages only lead to death. Oil, marmalade, is expensive. If there is a quarrel among the relatives, they should help up to 3000. In general, you have to bring five hundred rupees. Even when I am single, my monthly expenses are 10/12 thousand rupees .

I was born in the year 2022. I am now in my 60s. There is a song in our village, 'Bari ruho mal karada bhaina, Karma ruho khita bhainai'. I think this song exactly matches my life.  The village is far (two hours by car) from the

market (Fungling). If you have to reach somewhere, you need to rent a car . They charge 400 rupees for a car to reach the market. I am also a priest. People come home . The teapot had to be served . Sugar and tea also cost me five hundred a month. 

If you buy a winter blanket, it will cost you thousands. 30,000 is not enough for Dakshina and food for those who come to Thap Thap during Dasain . When I was a Menzo priest, I was making four/five thousand a month . Food is enough to eat . There is no other income from that. He has two/three plantations of land in his own name . It is said that from next year, when cardamom grows, there will be as much as one heart. If that happens and the current price comes up, there will be no shortage of food for a year. Apart from food, it is more expensive to buy food and take it away with guests.

Even in the mountains, when you leave home, you have to get into the car and pay the fare, so only money comes in handy. This year too, cardamom has yielded two crops . But today the nephew asked to withdraw money to buy a bike. I had no money . 

As much as the cardamom grows, why do you eat the bike? Since the wife was sick from the beginning, there were no children. First, there was a tradition of bringing another. But, I didn't bring another one. Although there are many food items to be bought from the market such as salt, oil, and spices, the household products that are sold tend to be less. Since I raised them myself, I didn't buy much chicken when the guests came. Otherwise, it cannot be delivered at the expense of . Now it is difficult to say that I live only by farming.