I don't even want to remember the days when I couldn't save my husband's life because of the cost of treatment. It was only 22 days after my son was born that I lost my family. After that, I had a lot of trouble raising my son. It is as if the Mahabharata happened. Now I am 50 years old. But the suffering is the same.

Similarly, after reaching the age of 16-17, according to social tradition, Balan Bihul-4, Belhi Md. I got married to Makaudin . Even though the routine went well, it passed as soon as three daughters were born. At that time I was very sad . After a long time, a son was born. Both my husband and I were very happy. Around the year 2060/061, the news of bullets and bombs falling everywhere in the country was heard on the radio . At that time we were also asked for a donation . At that time, it was ordered to pay 4 lakhs for donation within three days . Where do we have so much money! We were in a state of emergency because we were threatened with death if we did not donate again. They will kill me if I don't donate, what to do now? He asked that. I didn't see any alternative and I also became a Nazwaf .

stopped sleeping . There was no situation to go anywhere after her husband with a small child. He left me in Baluwa (Bihar) and I went to Bombay (Mumbai) for some time. However, they found out that I was sitting in the sand. They started asking for donations there too. He threatened to kill her husband at the spot if he did not pay the money. She said that she had no money and that her husband had gone somewhere to collect the money. After a few days, the acquaintance no longer has to give donations and called her husband to stay safely in the village. It happened after being convinced by a familiar person. I contacted him and asked him to return to the village. He came back but as a dead body. He was killed by strangulation. The body was found dumped at the border. The mother-in-law also passed away within a few days due to the grief of her son's murder.

My mother-in-law Tikulia helped me to raise my son . Thinking that it is not right to always depend on Maiti, I started working on other people's farms. As farm work is seasonal, the household expenses were not running for twelve months . After that, I went from village to village and started collecting kabadi by bartering kabadi items with soap. Even now I do the same thing . 30/35 kg will be collected in a day by plastic, tin and iron . I give one soap for two kilos of tin or plastic . I give 2 soaps for one kilo of iron . Soap costs 17 rupees. Iron comes up to 40/42 rupees per kilo. There is a profit of 6 to 8 rupees per kilo. Profit up to 20 rupees per kilo .

From morning to 2-3 pm, the profit of up to Rs. Ailani is at home. There is no need to buy rice as it is cultivated in a small area. I have to buy 100 worth of vegetables and 30 rupees worth of spices for myself, my daughter-in-law, and my grandson. 50 rupees will be spent on tomatoes, ginger and turmeric. I have to buy biscuits/chocolate worth 10 rupees for grandson . One and a half hundred rupees worth of edible oil and salt should be brought in 4/4 days. 50 rupees should be saved every day to pay electricity and internet bills.

I sent my 20-year-old son to Kubet 6 months ago, after I did not have any skills. He has incurred a debt of 6 lakh rupees while sending him . Now all the money sent by the son has to be paid to Sahun. Again, we have not got any government facility . I see that some families in the village who were killed during the conflict have received government benefits. However, our access was not possible. Therefore, she has not been able to rest her body even in her old age. Now it is very difficult to carry heavy . Legs also hurt a lot. He would leave such work on the day he could pay off the debt .