Dear Vimala! You left us all on June 15th, never to return. The days after you have gone on an eternal journey feel lonely, dull. Sometimes I cry alone, sometimes my daughter and I cry together. I remind my daughter, my daughter reminds me.

Due to my hectic life (public/political) I could not fulfill many of your personal dreams. More sorrow than joy has befallen you. But, as long as I live, my love for you will not decrease, instead it will increase. Before we were together in physical form, now we are in memory as love. 

There is a ring you wore at your wedding, which I have never worn since. Now I will wear it for your memory and love. That one ring is the symbol of our love. My future life journey will pass in your memory. I believe that I will face whatever situation comes in the coming days.

How was our life journey? How did we meet? Once we both make those days fresh. 

When we got married on 22 June 2059, you were the ward president of Bhainsepati gavis-4. I was a member of the House of Representatives. Many friends spontaneously became active in preparing for our wedding. 

Sushila Nepal, a member of the House of Representatives, spoke about you for the first time. He said that if he wants to marry, there is a suitable girl, I will start the conversation. It had been a year and a half since the friends talked about marriage. Meanwhile, on March 8, 2058 (Women's Day), you and I met at the office of the UML parliamentary party in Singh Darbar. UML chief whip was Bharat Mohan Adhikari. We talked about our marriage in his chamber. Bharat Mohan said, 'Why wait to get married? My car is waiting, let's bring it in today.' I said, 'Let's wait.' I consult with my mother and brother. And let's draw a conclusion.' I consulted with

mother (Phoolkumari). Sarlahi lived in his own village in Basbaria. Mother did not immediately accept our marriage proposal. He said let's see the girl first, then we will get married. Then brother, sister-in-law came to Kathmandu to see the girl. You may remember that I made an appointment with you. 

Only after that the marriage was finalized. After the usual Tikatala, the wedding date was fixed – 2059, on June 22. I was 44, you 38. A few days after the wedding date was fixed, Parliament was dissolved.

After the dissolution of the Parliament, the upper hall of Balkhu was built as the party's central office. We had a public wedding in the presence of about six/seven hundred people. The chief guest was the then General Secretary Madhav Kumar Nepal. Ashtalakshmi Shakya (currently UML vice-president) was in charge of women's reception committee and former finance minister Bharat Mohan Adhikari was in charge of men's reception. UML's Morang-Kathmandu Contact Forum organized the marriage program. Purohit Modnath Prasrit (former UML leader) was. It was decided to get married with minimal expenses. Four invitations were printed on one photocopy paper and distributed. Tea and lunch were arranged at the wedding. DIG Keshav Baralji had arranged a vehicle to go to Janti from my Koteshwar Dera to Balkhu. Talking about the social situation at that time, we had intercaste marriage. 

In that wedding of Balkhu, we Durai declared that we are one by lighting two lamps in Panas. We were not even allowed to wear vermilion on the wedding stage. The moment when I put vermilion on you after telling you not to wear vermilion on the stage, I went home and made my mother witness it is still fresh in my memory. On the stage, we exchanged Dubo's garlands. After getting married in Kathmandu, we went to Biratnagar. By the time they reached Biratnagar, the wedding expenses had totaled 10,000. 

The person who is saying that I will not get married, it was meant that we should not get married for political reasons. Later, thinking that marriage would help politics, I was in a state of mind to get married.

When I got married, I had been elected as an MP twice. Ours is not a love marriage, but if there was no love, there would be no marriage. After seeing the girl, after talking, the love will grow. Even though the marriage was a family affair, it was a bit of a rebellion. 

Immediately after the marriage, the direct rule of the then Gyanendra began. After becoming the leader of the movement and street movement against it, most of my time was spent on the streets. I was arrested twice from the front of Biratnagar. At that time, many leaders were afraid. Both of us, husband and wife, went to jail, in Biratnagar. I was put in a men's prison, you in a women's prison.

Even before that, I had experienced jail-nail, roundhouse many times. But, you were jailed for the first time. I have been told that you are a bit naughty in prison. I asked the jailer to see you for a moment. The prison was nearby in the same compound, we met for 15 minutes. After our meeting, you were comforted, even if only a little. Before marriage I told you 'I have sugar'. In reply you said 'I am a strong person, I will take care of you'. First the court let you go, then me. 

Late marriages have their own problems. Both of us are active in politics. There was no private life. You kept on complaining until later - after getting married, you couldn't go on a honeymoon or travel. 

After coming to the Constituent Assembly, I became the Chairman of the Rights Protection Committee of Minorities and Marginalized Communities. He had to go to different districts for the constitution making work. You were Biratnagar. I left you sick. What you said on the phone at that time still lingers in my mind, "Are we married or not?" Are we together or apart?' It was a very painful moment for me.

I used to say sometimes - Maiti is me, even home is me. I kept you in the Koteshwar Dera since I brought you in. You used to say - will you send me off from the camp or what? However, that is what happened. Where you entered, you left. Our dream of building our own home never came true. I am still in the camp at Koteshwar. That still cracks me up. 

You used to say that public responsibilities are coming, think about the private future of the family. I used to say, I have dedicated my life for the nation, where is the private thing? 

You have always supported me in politics. It was your nature to get worried as soon as something bad happened in the news. Sometimes expressing anger. 

In our life-journey, sometimes there are twists and turns. If not, love will not be strong. The topic of Thakthuk was mostly about the country. There were not many disputes about bringing up/educating a daughter. Until you arrived, I had no concern for the household affairs of the family. I was somehow convinced because of you. Now we are father and daughter, we have to watch everything alone. 

You had an incurable myositis disease - rear bath. Doctors used to say that this disease causes the muscles to melt, and then separates the bones and flesh. One in 10-15 million people have this disease. 

You have been treated as best as possible. But, finally you left. When I thought, 'I can't be saved now or what?', I also started to lose heart. Tears started flowing from the eyes. While in Kiriya, or even now or even this morning, tears are flowing because of you. Not a day goes by, I don't cry at your memory. Some days it hurts a little more. I never imagined that you would leave us so soon. The saying "I must come to the camp and leave from the camp" still echoes in my ears. It hurts and hurts more. 

Your last wish was - I will make a statue after I die! I used to say to my daughter - after my father passed away, I will keep a statue of my father as well, both of them should have a statue in the same place! you know According to your wish, I have asked Kaligarh of Janakpur to make a statue of you that can be placed in the room. 

Remembering what you said in the hospital bed brings tears to my eyes. You said one day - you will feel a lot of pain after I pass away. In the same way, we have been saying to our daughter - look at your father and don't make him sad, always love him. That's why my daughter tells me to sleep without closing the room door.

I don't see you in my dreams, I see you in commercials. When you open the laptop, you are on it, you are on the mobile. I have kept everything you used carefully. 47 frames came as your tribute, all are in the room. 

Now after building a house, I will make a special room for you, where I will protect all your belongings. 

You and I have been physically together for about 23 years. When you left the world forever, we were only a week away from our 23rd wedding anniversary. The relationship between husband and wife is to rejoice in happiness and remain together in sorrow. There is a big difference between a home when you are a wife and a home when you are single. The love between husband and wife is also different according to the stage - just like during marriage, the love done at a young age and privately is different. After having children, the next phase of happiness will begin. Then the older one gets, the more the definition of love gets wider. Love grows deeper.